What No One Tells You About Sending Your Child To College

Mar 11

I just did it again and it sucks.

It doesn’t get easier, even though I think it will. Every time I say goodbye to my daughter, I’m sure it’ll be easier. Nope. I just get to feel the gut wrenching pain all over again. And no one ever warned me about this. Ever!

When She First Left

Molly first left for college two years ago, and I was seriously ready for her to leave. She complained about everything for the last few months before she left, so when it was time for her to go, we were all ready.

She and I traveled across the country, moved her in, did the deal (meaning I got bossed around a lot and did a million Target trips), said goodbye and wham — like a tidal wave, the feelings of loss, of not seeing her beautiful face and having her amazing spirit filling the house every day hit me. These feelings lingered for months.

I Didn’t Know

No one told me to expect this when you send your kid off to college. It’s my first one, too. Not my last. This isn’t empty nest or anything like that. I have a full life. I work, volunteer, have a healthy relationship, friends, all of that. So this shocked me. I couldn’t exercise it away. Laugh it off. Eat sugar, cake, and chocolate.

None of that. I had to just feel the feelings and cry until it eventually passed. Which feelings do. They eventually pass (who knew!).

Then she came home. Which I’ve read enough articles to know would be a nightmare, so I felt armed and prepared. But I just love her being here, so when she left it hit again, just not for months. But that feeling, those feelings, omg these feelings, ugh. And so it goes.

Then we have Covid and she was here for months (or so I am told — she was actually holed up in her room miserable the entire time, so no one is really sure). She kept changing her flight back and staying here (yay!), until she didn’t, and she left and that gaping hole inside appears again.

Molly just came home for a week. Well, actually two, but she had to quarantine for one, take a Covid-19 test, then hang with us for one, so technically one. She just left AGAIN and I’m sad. I texted her that she may have to come back because I’m depressed which scared her and she immediately wanted to know what was wrong. (Haha when tables turn). I just want to hug my baby sometimes. And she’s in Trump territory and I know she’s ferocious and fighting our fight there, but they just might eat her, who knows? One week simply was not enough.

So yea, no one ever warned me about this part of motherhood — so I’m giving anyone reading this who hasn’t been there yet a heads-up. Because seriously, I wish I’d been warned.