Discovering the Magic of Your Purpose with Anjua Maximo
Listen and learn about the power of conquering your limiting beliefs and shutting down your inner critic. Uncover your purpose's magic and learn how to bring your vision to life right now. Discover how to rewire your brain to move right past life's obstacles.
“I learned to dim my light very early because of my interaction with women. Okay. Yeah, you know, you come in the room and you just learn to actually. Pull it back.” - Anjua (11:16)
Anjua learned how to stop dimming her light and people-pleasing and helps you listen to your heart to understand feelings and emotions better. Be sure to listen to the entire episode till the end.
“I often ask my clients, how is your heart today? And don't just tell me, fine. How does it feel? Well, it feels expensive, or it feels constricted. It feels tight or it feels jittery. These things help you understand feelings, emotions.” – Anjua (25:09)
Anjua talks about how she successfully taps into her intuitive abilities that make her successful in life and how you can do the same. She encourages you to change even when you’re afraid to take that leap and helps you with simple suggestions.
Anjua gives you her message of hope giving you a confidence boost and some clarity:
“I'm going to say nature is my message of hope, because nature, when we go out into it, when we allow ourselves to actually be present in it, when we can take the time to really observe the beauty around us, I personally feel it's what helps ground me in the reality of the situation because there's a much bigger, more beautiful world out there – Anjua (29:42)
In This Episode:
(02:08) – How to live your truth.
(03:34) – How Anjua learned to start speaking her truth.
(07:32) – Anjua’s foray into coaching.
(09:31) – Dealing with limiting beliefs.
(12:03) – How to not dim your light.
(13:22) – Moving around the country.
(16:16) – How to stop your inner critic.
(20:51) – How to avoid the shiny object syndrome.
(23:51) – Tapping into your intuitive abilities.
(26:30) – Advice if you are afraid to take the leap.
(29:36) – A message of hope from Anjua.
Resources & Links
52 Weeks of Hope
Anjua Maximo
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Lauren: [00:00:00] Are you a burnt-out overachiever buried in responsibilities? Do you miss laughing with your friends just laughing from the gut? Do you feel like life's passing you by? If you've been wishing for some kind of shift, you're in the right place. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope, the show where we take you off the hamster wheel by ditching your to-do list for the to-don't list.
This is where you get to learn how to make that lonely ache vanish. Learn self-compassion techniques and to give yourself grace. I'm Lauren Abrams and I get to help you feel that magic again, since going through my own dark night in the soul, so you can learn from my experience and the mentors and experts I meet along the way.
And today we're talking to energy and leadership coach Anjua Maximo. Do you know you're meant for something greater, but something's holding you back? I'm so excited to really get talking to you about your higher vibrations and how you get to be your whole inspired, intuitive, and freest self. You're going to love this episode because Anjua is going to help you move past life's obstacles and take you into the magic of your purpose.
Learn how to turn off your inner critic and bring your vision to life right now. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope, Anjua
Anjua: Thank you so much, Lauren. This is awesome. What a great intro. Yeah.
Lauren: Thank you. Okay. I love learning about you and I listened to your first podcast episode, which is so funny because you're like, it's January 2021.
We made it. We made it through 2020 and I'm like laughing going, yeah, we did. And you're like, yeah, it was a lot. I'm thinking, yeah. And here we are a few years later. It's such a crazy thing.
Anjua: I know. Like when you look back that now we can actually reflect back as a pandemic was something that happened. So now to even know that you heard that, and now I'm going to laugh because when I hear that episode again, I'm like, where was I even, where was I at that point?
You know, coming out of the fog, right?
Lauren: You're like, well, yay. And you know what I'm going to wish for you. And here's what I'm, and it's, it's just so interesting. Cause you're like, and I'm going to live in my truth. And I can't. Even like just meeting you now, I can't imagine you ever not living in your truth.
Anjua: Oh, I've had a lot of practice in living in my truth because, you know, it's really interesting. I'm, I'm of a generation of. I was just talking about this with a client, a generation, you know, that came up with the whole, um, children should be seen and not heard. You didn't have an opinion. You weren't a lot.
And my mother was very strong. She was a wonderful mom, a wonderful dad, but there were very strong opinionated people. And it was very much like we're the parent you do, as I say. And I think when you kind of have that kind of an upbringing, you naturally just learn to just appease, go with the program, go with the flow.
Don't make waves. I was really into being a good girl. And all those things lend itself to you swallowing your truth because the truth would then make people uncomfortable. So when I say I've had practice both swallowing and learning how to spit it out, I mean it
Lauren: That's so interesting because I'm older than you and I was taught to be children to be seen and not heard.
So how did you learn to start speaking your truth and to have a voice and to know what's really going on? And I think that's always so interesting because we didn't talk about our feelings growing up. So I'll Google feelings chart because sometimes I'm not really sure my kids amaze me. I'm so impressed.
They'll be like, this is kind of overwhelming. Give me a minute, mom. Oh, they're so good about that.
Anjua: =They're so good. They're like on their mood meter. They're like, I'm feeling this today. I'm feeling that I just don't feel like it. I'm like, Oh, wow. That's amazing. You know, I am so impressed with them and I learn a lot from them.
I have to say, I think the realization of really understanding that I was not living my truth or not being my full self happened when I first got my first dose of personal development. And that actually happened working at Lululemon. So I worked with Lululemon Athletica for a long time. Yep, I did. They were, I actually became a manager for them too.
So they were the first ones that ever talked to me about goals. They were the first ones who ever talked to me about a stingy voice in your head. about not taking action, about not speaking your truth. And I was just like, what is this stuff? Like, I'd never heard about this stuff before. They sent me to, you know, development seminars for free.
So I was really getting this massive dose. They had a whole library of development books that were, you know, you had access to. So this was the first time that all these light bulbs start going off and I start making connections and I start seeing. This is why you do what you do. Oh, this is why you get afraid of this.
And this is why you pull back and then you start observing yourself. And I think once you actually just have an inkling that something is off, and then you actually get the tools to start to sit outside of yourself a little bit. Then it really gets interesting, right? Now you're observing how I behave in the presence of certain men who I see as authority figures, my voice gets higher.
Okay. So I was like, Oh, I'm noticing this. I start to panic. I don't breathe in certain situations. I would notice that if I'm in a confrontational thing, even though I'm a Scorpio and by nature, supposedly we love confrontation and conflict. That's not the case with me. I will get into it with you. I am very much do no harm, sake no shit.
But at the same time, I don't go seeking conflict. I will be a justice fighter. All the time. But when it comes to fighting for myself, I found that I was not, you know, aggressive like that too. Yeah, you're just kind of observing yourself and you're sitting here going, I don't like that, and I don't want to be this way.
And now, now I'm learning that there's other ways I can show up, and here's why, and here's what I got to do to do it. So that was the beginning. To say that it was all crystal after that would be a lie, because this is all trial and error. It's all trial and error. You're not going to get it right. A lot.
Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not. It's all peeling the onion anyway, like getting it all of it.
Anjua: And it's still being peeled because, you know, even as I'm approaching 50 and really, I think too, that it, it, it comes with the age. So at 40. I started noticing that I started giving a lot less of a shit about what people think.
And I think we hear this a lot from women as they get older. You start to just not give a fuck anymore, right? And you're like, why did I, why do I care? Why was I covering my legs up for years worried about varicose veins and cellulite? Because I really thought somebody cared. Like, why did I really rob myself of like years in the sun with my legs out?
Because like, you start to just really see how ridiculous. Some of this is so that is is what's an opening but then to do the work is something else and that takes practice and patience and compassion and there's been plenty of times when I've been disappointed in myself I've been frustrated I should have spoke up I could have done this better you just got to be easy with yourself get up and try again
Lauren: oh definitely so here you are you get exposed to self-help and personal development space and everything at Lululemon where then what's your next exposure
Anjua: Oh, okay.
So prior to that, it was almost an accidental exposure. I was pole dancing. Okay. And I discovered this pole dancing studio in LA at my trainer. I was an actor back then. [00:07:00] So I was doing the whole, you have a trainer, you bartend at night. Yeah. And she's like, I went to this great class the other night. It was pole dancing.
It was so fun. It's kind of like this new thing that's happening now. So I was like, this could be fun. So I go into this room. Fast forward to me falling in love with this. Fast forward to me becoming a teacher. Now there was personal development happening in the studio, but I don't think we really realized the magnitude.
That it was happening, nor will we necessarily all always be equipped as instructors to deal with the emotional aspect of what was happening to these women. So that technically would say would be my first, um, foray into coaching others, but I didn't realize that that's what I was doing. Okay. I wasn't doing it intentionally.
I was kind of like, I'm just there to hold space and be a guide and whatever, but things were happening. Now Lululemon comes, they introduced me to personal development. I started seeing, Oh, that's what's happening in this room. These women are having these discoveries, these epiphanies. Right. This is why it's happening.
They're giving me the information as to what the gremlin voice is, where the insecurities come from, how the indoctrination happens, the conditioning, and how it's now manifesting through their body. And I'm like, light bulbs are going off. I leave Lululemon. I leave that studio. I moved to Cleveland. I'm giving cliff notes, abbreviated versions.
And while at Lululemon, I recognize like, I want to do this. It's helping me tremendously. In real-time, I'm applying these things. I feel my personal growth. And as you do in this, once you know something, all of a sudden you start wanting to tell everybody about what you know, right? I wanted to buy the four agreements for everybody in my family.
I was like, everybody's getting this for Christmas. What do you mean? You're reading books. You gotta read this. You gotta go to Landmark. You gotta go do this. So I really, I recognize that this was impactful work to what I was already doing with women. Um, and I wanted to do more of it and I wanted to see more women really, because my relationship with women changed when I started teaching pole dancing.
I really became, not that I wasn't a champion of women before, but I very much was of that mindset that I don't have a lot of female friends. It's difficult. They're jealous. It's tricky. It can get complicated. It's easier to have less female friends. It's ridiculous, but that's where my mind was. Starting to work with women in a studio that was predominantly women, with all women students, I had no choice but to really face those sister wounds head-on and recognize where they were coming from.
So I really then became this huge champion of women. Fell in love with us. And just wanted to see us like flourish. So that really became my motivation.
Lauren: So let's back up for just one second for anybody listening. So where did those come from? How did you discover that where your old ideas or maybe they were limiting beliefs or whatever it was, uh, Oh, you can't trust women or you weren't friends with women?
Anjua: That's friendship stuff. That's, that's teenagers. That's your best friends betraying you. That's finding out that the girl you thought was your friend was actually talking about you behind your back or trying to hit on your boyfriend. You're away at college. I mean, there were a number of instances where I felt like it never would occur to me to be different to my friends.
So in a sense, I think I grew up with this very much idea that I was very much like a fawn. And I was very gullible it seemed so in my mind I didn't trust my intuition also early on because it seemed that everybody I thought was for me always had an agenda, right, my best friend and I best friend meaning I met her when I was 10 like we're still friends now.
But you know she and I had a few falling out because there were moments where I felt like okay you didn't stand up for me. Or you didn't do this. So I think it just started to create this place of distrust. Like, can I really trust her? Is there a motive? Or when I did trust, then it was like, okay, I'm dealing with maybe a narcissist, or I'm dealing with a woman who's just going to completely center herself in everything.
So now she wants me, there was always something, or I'm dealing with a woman who has massive insecurity. So every time he got dressed to go out, she was always downing herself. And it was like all these instances. of me not understanding what the energy was, me not understanding how to be empathetic to what was happening, how to actually see myself in the center of it, how my own insecurities were playing into some of this.
So really it was just beginning relationships that didn't I think really paint a solid picture of what it could be to be amongst women that were actually grounded in who they were and comfortable and accepting of you and not intimidated by your energy. I learned to dim my light very early because of my interaction with women.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you come in the room and you just learn to actually pull it back.
Lauren: I can't imagine you with a dim light.
Anjua: I got called out by a teacher in acting class. Lauren called me out. I walked in one day and he calls me over. He said, come over here for a second. I want to talk to you. He said, do you know, I watch you walk in here every Wednesday for class and every Wednesday you walk in this bright light crown is up looking like a total star.
And then the minute you cross the threshold, you go. Why are you doing that?
Lauren: Okay. So most people are probably listening. So what, just so you know Anjua just made a visual demonstration of a dimming light. Okay, go ahead.
Anjua: Yes. Yes. Like the light being sucked back in.
Lauren: Exactly. I just did my, my, my lawyerly, uh, go ahead.
Anjua: Yeah, I appreciate that so much because you know, as a podcast host, there's been a number of times that visuals are happening. I'm like, I've never fucked to be like. She's pulling out a large, phallic, whatever is happening in my back. So anyway, but yeah, so he, he noted that and he asked me why, why do I do that?
And I said to him, honestly, I do it to make other people comfortable. And he's like, what are you talking about? Why? And I said, because women don't like me sometimes if I'm just too confident or I'm not unassuming enough, like I've had that, or, you know, it draws too much attention from men unwantedly sometimes.
So I just learned to just. Pull it in. And he's like, I really need you to never do that ever again. Like you have to stop. And it really became a theme for me, battling that, battling that to walking with my crown up and my heart open and not see it as a need to, and even when women to feel them start to pull back instead of me pulling back and you reach out.
Lauren: Oh, that's so good. That's so good. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah.
Anjua: Yeah. Reach out. I'm okay. And you're okay. We can be okay in this space together. Keep smiling with me. Yeah.
Lauren: Yep. Oh, that was so good. Yay. Thank you. I'm glad I asked. And I'm glad you shared that. Okay. So here you are in Cleveland.
Anjua: And we had a little, we had a little laugh about that before. How the hell do you get from New York to LA to Cleveland? Yeah. So, you know, circumstances brought my family here. My partner had an opportunity to work here and there was a Lululemon here who was still working at the time. And I thought, well, I'll bring pole dancing to Cleveland.
I'll bring central movement to Cleveland. Terrified to do so because I knew nothing of Cleveland. I'd moved here sight unseen. I literally just got on a plane. He had already chosen a place to live and I brought my kids and we got right, we had one son at the time and it was like, okay. Okay, we're doing this, but I definitely thought this is a very conservative city.
It feels like compared to LA in my mind, I had the idea that I was going to do this, but it definitely took a long time because of fear that it was going to be rejected, fear that women were going to reject it, fear that it was going to be seen as too much for this area. You know, they'll run me out of town or anything like that.
And that didn't happen exactly. So I opened our studio. We actually opened a micro boutique gym here that became wildly popular and a groove ride still stands. I opened next door. It was kind of like this weird hybrid. We had a cycle studio that was co-ed. And then we had a pole dancing studio that was women only on the other side and it was kind of joined by a bathroom.
So I would joke, I'd see women coming for cycle who had no idea that the pole dancing was happening. They'd open up the wrong door to go back in. It was like Alice in Wonderland. You'd see them and they'd be like, Oh, shut the door. I'm like, no, no, come in. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. But I say that because my fear, actually, I do believe, to be completely honest, did not allow enough breath into that part of the studio, the pole dancing part, and because of my fear, and for numerous reasons, there was some fear, but the main fear of it being rejected, actually, I believe, Did not give it the running started needed it in the beginning, and it's funny because I've been here now for 1112 years, and I have been teaching the central movement again committed to it for the last seven, and it's almost as if.
They're now all finding me, but I've been here for the whole time. And now it seems like women are more accepting of it. They're ready to hear it. Cause there was a lot of convincing I had to do back then there were still women who were like, I want to talk about it with you, but I'm afraid. What is it that you do?
Oh, you know, a lot of teachers asking my son. So what does your mom do? She's a, my kids, she's a yoga teacher. She's a Pilates instructor. I am. I am all those things too. You know, but there was a lot of curiosity, but still so much fear to actually come through the door. And now they're like, I need this. I want this, teach me how to roll my hips, teach me how to touch my body, teach me how to be in this, but it's all timing.
Lauren: Everything is always timing and it all unfolds as it's supposed to definitely. So how. Do you teach people to stop their inner critic? And because I'm sure people walk in and like, I don't know how to do this. I can't do this. I can't dance or be self-conscious of their body and their movement and to just get out of their head.
Anjua: Yeah. Well, I always tell my students, you know, I'm not just in here with you. I'm in here with you. Your parents' values, your grandparents, possibly, the pastor, the rabbi, the priest, like everybody's in here and I'm trying to get to Lauren. Yeah. Lauren, believe. So we really have to address the head. We have to address the head, even before we get to the body stuff, right?
And the head is where we're housing all the stories. The head is where we're housing all the You know, the misconceptions, the conditioning, the ideas that something is supposed to be true, but it's actually not. It's just what's true for the person who taught you. So the first place I go is here, and I help them understand we need to now start to distinguish where's your voice, where's your voice, and where's the voice of what you, you grew up hearing.
Which one is You actually and what you believe and which one is just you echoing what you heard your mom say your dad say about women who do a certain thing or act a certain way or dress a certain way. I don't think we recognize how insidious is the word I'm going to use media can be music. All these things that paint a picture of what a goddess is supposed to be like or what a sexy woman is supposed to look like what she's supposed to dress or behave like and because we have such limited two-dimensional ideas of sexuality, sensuality, what a sexy self-possessed woman looks like, what an empowered goddess looks like, that we don't even see ourselves in that.
So how can I be any of those things? So it really takes time for me to have to sit with them and go, I need you to understand that this is all made up. And it was just made up. It's all made up. There is nothing here that indicates that a goddess needs to look a certain way, or dress a certain way. You know, I have women who come to my class that may be lesbian, that may have more mask presenting energy, and they've often come and be like, well, do I have to wear the lingerie to feel like a goddess?
I'm like, no, wear your boxers. I don't care. Wear whatever you want. Goddess is what makes you feel empowered in your body, period. It's not about flowing skirts. That's just the outside stuff. It's the energy within you. It is the belief in yourself. So then, we work through the stories in the head. And I come from, the coaching school of thought that, that, that voice, which we call the Gremlin in my school of thought is actually a version of you from when you were small.
And it's a version of you that learned something about the world and how you're viewed in the world and then created a whole story. about this. And generally, now it has spent the entirety of your life trying to protect you in some really fucked up way. Kind of like the overbearing mom who bubble wraps you before.
Have a great time. Don't die. Let me wrap you up. You're going to fall but have fun. So when I present it that way, it allows the student to now start to have a little bit of empathy for this voice. Cause there's a lot of, I hate it. I want to kill it. I want to extract it. I want to beat it up. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hold on. First of all, it's not going anywhere. It's part of us, right? And when we want to do it that way, it's going to keep fighting back. If we can have a little empathy for why it showed up in the first place, what it thinks it's protecting, and then remind it that you actually have it, you're not that same age anymore.
You get to decide now who you are as a woman. That begins a different relationship to this voice. You know, I have them name it to give a little, take a little of the sting out. They usually come up with ridiculous names. You know, there's a lot of like Bertha and, you know, Godfrey and weird names that they just would never hear in life, but it makes them laugh and smile at it.
It lightens it up a bit. But once we can get through here, then we can start to start to move into letting your body do something. But your body is going to be constantly interrupted if the gremlin is running its mouth saying you are this, that, and the other, too fat, too old, too this, too that, to be doing everything you're doing.
Lauren: Yeah. There's actually a top 10 limiting beliefs. I, I just did an episode on limiting beliefs, and uh, yeah. Too old to yeah, I can't all the I can't. Yeah, I hear that all the time.
Anjua: I’ve been hearing it for years and one of my most amazing like she was fabulous students was like 65. The woman climbed that pole like a damn cat.
She was amazing. The fiercest grandmother I've ever seen. It had nothing to do with her age. It was her energy.
Lauren: It’s always energy. And I mean, I took a class at UCLA, one of my undergrad classes, and, uh, she coached Olympic athletes and everything. And it's all about the mind. It's what we tell ourselves.
I've never forgotten it. So yeah, totally is now, how do you avoid the shiny object syndrome? Like, huh? What about this? I want to do this. I want to do that.
Anjua: And going after all kinds of different things. You mean in life, just in general? Yes, yes, yes. That's really funny you should say that. Okay, so, What I have learned, I used to down myself because I am a shiny object chaser.
I fall in love with a lot of things. I fall in love with people. I just love their energy. I fall in love with projects. I fall in love with books. And, Sometimes, then I will put it down for a little while, walk away for a little while. I fall in love with meditation, then I fall out of it, you know. I used to think that that was a bad thing.
I used to think that it indicated something about me, that it may mean something about me, not being consistent, not being able to stick to something, not being disciplined. Then I did my human design. You're familiar with this, okay? And it really helped me to understand my behaviors and choices as something that is part Of who I am but not a bad part of who I am.
So according to my human design, I am meant to catch the essence of life like the fabric. I'm meant to do that. And then kind of alchemize it and make it into other things. I'm not necessarily meant to stick to one thing. And once I released myself from feeling that there was something wrong with that.
And then even recognizing when it is and then allowing myself to really sleep on things, which is like, okay, but do you really want to do it? You really want to come on the podcast or do you need to sleep on it? Get up, take a day and go, yeah, I still see you. I feel the fuck. Yes. I want to call Lauren back.
I'm going to do this. Whereas before it would be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, without thinking. And then I'm in all these things that I ended up realizing I didn't want to do, or it wasn't actually what I thought it was going to be because I didn't take the time. Right. So to me, it was normalizing that for myself.
I also saw a wonderful Ted Talk once, and I, and I, I will write to you to tell you who it was, but essentially this TED Talk was being delivered about shiny object syndrome and people who, or jack of all trades. Right? And you know, the gist of it was, is that this could be also looked at as a great strength because you know a little bit about everything.
It's actually not a bad thing. That means you actually can contribute to many different conversations. You can contribute to doing different. Spaces and areas because you are knowledgeable about a lot of things. So those types of things, reframing it was helpful to me. Now, reframing it and then understanding how to manage it was the second piece, because it's not that I just let it go crazy.
It's understanding when I need to let it run. And then when is it like, okay, sleep on this, rein it in, you don't actually need to take on that project. Just because you want to doesn't mean you need to. And that was a big one. Just because I love it doesn't mean I'm meant to do it. Just because I can do it doesn't mean I'm meant to do it.
That's another thing. I'm good at a lot of things. But it doesn't mean I'm meant to do it. I could coach men. Absolutely. I could. Doesn't mean I'm meant to do it though. I don't feel drawn to do it. So I don't have to do it.
Lauren: So how did you get in touch with your own, uh, intuitive abilities?
Anjua: How did I tap into my own intuitive abilities?
Um, it was the body work. It was the dancing. Yeah, absolutely. You are being called to slow down when you are in class with me. You're being called to feel, to feel your body, to feel your emotions. There's nowhere to run when you're slowing down and you're breathing and you're feeling. So now you start to understand, you start to see, you start to Move through those things, right?
And then you start to let go of having to know what's happening next, which means you start to trust that the body's going to take you where it needs to go. That kind of bond and relationship between body, soul, mind, this, to me, is what helps enhance you trusting your intuition. Your body, in my opinion, never lies.
Your mind will fuck with you all day long, okay? Play games all day long with you, but your body is going to tell you, I don't like that. This doesn't feel good. Even if it is something like of a traumatic response that it's, it's still indicating there's something going on. It's telling you something.
You're mine. Craziness. You [00:25:00] got the Greek chorus in there. You can't decide who's saying what, which voice is what. The body's like, this isn't good, or this is great. You start to learn what feels expansive. So I often ask my clients, how is your heart today? And don't just tell me fine. How does it feel? Well, it feels expansive or it feels constricted.
It feels tight or it feels jittery. These things help you understand. Feelings, emotions, and then try to put words to it and understand it.
Lauren: Yeah, I was taught if it describes dinner, fine, good, like whatever. It's not a feeling. Forget it. Like, yeah, how's your dinner? Okay. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, that's not a feeling.
Forget that. Yeah. Like, let that one go.
Anjua: Because when I'm talking to my clients, even when they're, I will often ask them, even my life coaching clients, what is your body doing when that thought happens? Yeah. When that person comes in the room. Yep. Yeah. Because your body is going to tell you. So that's part of your intuition.
Also there's the idea that yes, we have the third eye right between our eyebrows, but then there's also the notion that the sacral energy holds a great deal of wisdom that that actually is our center of knowing. Yes. But if we're locked up from it, shamed by our hips, afraid to move them. See, this is also what happens in class, is they're rolling these hips.
They're moving them around, energy's moving, all of a sudden, truths are coming up. Tears are coming up. Realizations are coming up. Even anger comes up, like, shit, I've been robbed of something. Yeah. Is that making sense? Is that resonating?
Lauren: Completely makes sense. Yeah. Now, what would you tell somebody who knows that they want to do something, but they're afraid to take the leap to do it?
Anjua: Oh my goodness. You got to get into what you're afraid of. You just got to straight up say it. I am afraid of what A, B and C. And then you got to get into the truth of that. What really will happen? You know, generally, it's failure that stops a lot of people, right? I'm so afraid to fail at this. And then you got to just get into what have you made failure mean?
What are you attaching it to? Who told you that? Where did it always go back to? What did you learn? Where did you hear it from? Because it's generally the people around you that you've come up with or the notions of what you see in society about people's feelings that are informing you. But the truth is.
Right? I love this one. I'm always talking about the Wright brothers. Like we wouldn't be flying in planes if these dudes just gave up after the first, I mean, they crashed multiple freaking times. It was even somebody else trying to do the same thing. They gave up. So to me, it's the willingness to reframe what failure looks like.
It's the willingness to recognize that you won't know. Until you go and try it and that you might fail at it and that it's okay because you can just go look at it again, assess, is this meant for me? If it is, then how do I do it differently? What did I learn? It's just reframing the mindset around failure to me that we have to start doing for ourselves.
Surrounding yourself with people who take chances, who aren't afraid to fall on their face, who do so laugh about it, celebrate it. One thing I learned at Lululemon that I loved to this day was putting up a failure board. Setting up a board and writing what your biggest fuck up was, right? What were the consequences of the fuck up and what did you learn?
And then what will you do differently next time? So what are we celebrating?
Lauren: A celebratory, uh, board too. Yeah, you made it, you made it through. You made it through. It's a great board. It's a, because you're trying.
Anjua: Here's the thing. I always ask my clients too, do you want to be, I, I want you to picture yourself living a long, beautiful life.
Yeah. Yeah. And you're now 90 something years old, and you are now ready to transition over. Do you want to reflect back on all the things you did? Failures, wins, and just feel like you really did everything? Or do you want to sit and have nothing but regret for the things that you didn't? You won't even know what would have happened.
What if? What if? To me is the worst two words I do not want to leave this world with is what if. Unless what if I did it. It's just like I did do it.
Lauren: Yeah, nobody ever on their deathbed wish they worked harder, made more money. It's, it's, you got to try to, you got to take those actions. I mean, yeah, yeah.
Life's in session.
Anjua: You got to be out there. It's not a dress rehearsal. It's all those things. And honestly, that kills me is that the people who are usually like the, the voices in your head of the folks that you think are going to say something, they're not even there at the end with you. Yeah. They've gone on with their lives.
They're dealing with their own freak out failures and gremlins. They're not even thinking about you, but here you are. Nobody's thinking about you.
Lauren: Like, that's the whole thing.
Anjua: That's the whole thing. No one is thinking about you, but here we are stopping ourselves from doing things because we're so afraid.
Just to, to take a chance and fuck up.
Lauren: Do you have a message of hope you want to give?
Anjua: My message of hope. I always bring this back to nature. I'm going to say nature is my message of hope because nature, when we go out into it, when we allow ourselves to actually be present in it, when we can take the time to observe, really observe.
What it took the beauty around us. I feel personally, it's what helps ground me in the reality of the situations. There's much bigger, more beautiful world out there that as shitty as things may feel or be, there are choices that you can make to manage your stuff in your world. Right? I find oftentimes that we lose hope because I think many of us are focused on trying to control these outer elements.
That we can't control right and really recognizing that the thing we have to manage the thing we have to spend time nourishing and loving on and making sure it's well spiritually fed and taken care of is you. And within that, you will find the tribe. You will. You will find the people. The more truthful you are, you will find the people.
It's like a lighthouse, a beacon, but if your light is out, they can't find you. Right? And the understanding that blending is not belonging. So standing out and being brave enough to be ourselves, to speak our truth, will actually bring us closer to the people who want to be with us. [00:31:00] And to me, hope lies in the understanding that you have the power to do so.
All of us do. You have the choice and the power. And if you can't see your way through it, there are so many resources. There are so many people that want to help. There really is. There's tons of people who want to help you, who want to see you shine and win. So really, there is no completely alone. You can feel that way, but it's a limiting belief to accept because there really are people out there.
Lauren: Yeah, there definitely are. The, the feeling alone, even in a room full of people and all of that, like, that passes. Like, feelings pass. Who knew? Like, I was, when I feel like, I'm like, I'll feel like this forever, but you don't. Yeah. Like, feelings do pass. Oh, like your first heartbreak, right?
Anjua: Your first real heartbreak as a teenager.
Life was over. Oh, absolutely. What was his name?
Lauren: Who knows? And I saw that you have on your website, the, uh, you have that, [00:32:00] that's one of your, uh, blog posts. Yes. So, uh, yeah. Yes. So I saw that. And we will have links for everything for Angela in the show notes and on the website and everything else.
Is there anything else that I should have asked you that you'll we're gonna be done? You'll be like, Lauren didn't ask me this.
Anjua: no, no, not at all. I've just enjoyed, I've enjoyed being here with you. You have a lovely energy. You, you yourself, my lady, are quite delicious. So I really enjoyed talking to you and spending this time with you.,
Lauren: Thank you so much for being a guest today on 52 Weeks of Hope. I so enjoyed this myself. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and take with you Anjua’s messages of self-lovement, giving yourself grace, and magic. Such great messages to take into your week ahead. Be sure to tune in next week for another empowering episode all about how to live authentically, abundantly, and how to simply feel better.
It's a great, empowering episode. You don't want to miss that. Be sure to share this episode with your friends and to rate and review the podcast so more people feel less alone in the overwhelm. And to remember the pause. Answers emerge in the pause. And instead of adding to your to-do list, how about a to-don't list?
This is a show for burnt-out overachieving type A'ers. Unlike other shows for burnt-out overachievers, only we take you off the hamster wheel by ditching your to-do list for the to-don't list. Until next week, I'm Lauren Abrams. Thanks for listening.