Living Authentically: Embrace Your True Self and Find Genuine Connections with Others
Are you tired of feeling like you're on autopilot, just going through the motions? It's time to rediscover your spark and awaken to the life you’re meant to live. In this episode, you'll learn how to:
Shed societal expectations and embrace your individuality.
Overcome self-doubt and tap into your inner power.
Break free from people-pleasing and prioritize your own needs.
Find quiet moments for self-reflection and hear your inner voice.
Take daily actions toward fulfilling your true purpose.
If you're ready to ditch the worry of what others think and reveal your authentic self, this episode is your guide. Embrace the balanced life of joy and purpose that awaits you!
Key Takeaways:
"When you aren't your authentic self, you deprive yourself and the world of your true gifts." - Lauren
"Authenticity is the key to deeper connections." - Lauren
"You'll find answers when you allow yourself moments of stillness." -Lauren
Don't miss this opportunity to ignite your authentic self and design the life you've always wanted!
In this episode:
(1:00) – The cost of keeping the real you stuck.
(1:06) – Why authenticity matters.
(1:30) – Living a life of duality.
(3:01) – It’s okay to reveal your secrets and why.
(3:30) – The exhaustion of duality
(4:14) – The people you don’t want around you.
(5:15) – Limiting beliefs that prevent authenticity.
(6:03) – The signs you are losing connection with your true self.
(7:00) – Who brings you joy?
(7:53) – Stress is a sign of this.
(8:44) – Do this when you have a good idea.
(9:17) – The value of mindfulness meditation.
(10:01) – The things to notice as you reconnect with yourself.
(10:27) – Being careful about what you say yes and no to.
(11:23) – Your limiting beliefs and how they impact your life.
(12:02) – Limiting beliefs that are rooted in fear.
(12:39) – Ways to work yourself out of the “can’t do” mindset.
(14:00) – Getting rid of your limiting beliefs (getting them out of your body).
(14:27) – Ask this question to get to your authentic self.
(15:49) – Being authentic helps you vibrate at your highest frequency.
Resources and Links
52 Weeks of Hope
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[00:00:00] Lauren Abrams: Are you a burnt-out overachiever buried in responsibilities? Do you miss laughing with your friends, just laughing from the gut? Do you feel like life's passing you by? If you've been wishing for some kind of shift, you're in the right place. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope, the show where we take you off the hamster wheel by ditching your to-do list for the to-don't list.
This is where you get to learn how to make that lonely ache vanish, learn self-compassion techniques, and give yourself grace. I'm Lauren Abrams, and I get to help you feel that magic again since going through my own dark night of assault. So you can learn from my experience and the mentors and experts I meet along the way.
And today we're talking about how to reconnect with your true self and live authentically. Do you ever feel like you're living on autopilot just going through the motions without feeling connected to who you truly are? Imagine waking up every day, feeling truly aligned, living in sync with your truth and passions. That's the power of authenticity, keeping you inside. The real you, you don't only deprive the world of who you really are, you're depriving yourself. And why I'm talking about this today is I'm doing a little bit of a rebrand. I'm working on my website and my logo, and I'm doing all this research. I was told that I needed a picture of myself on my logo for a podcast.And I saw this fabulous website. And it talked about, are you living a life of duality? It was a man and it was talking about men and they have to be tough and keep themselves inside. But the whole thing about living a life of duality, I completely related to that. I used to live a life of duality decades and decades ago.
I totally did when I was actively in my disease and drinking and using and everything else and trying to act like I wasn't. All of that, it was like I said, decades ago and I ended up in rehab. And so my life of duality after that was, I was so scared as a practicing lawyer that anyone would ever find out that I'd been in rehab.
And since I've had this podcast, it's now been years. In my first episode, I had to come out, so to speak. And talk about myself and tell my own story, which I did not want to do. I want to find out all of your stories. We connect through our stories and everyone has a story and your story matters. And that's part of being your authentic self.
And when you're your authentic self and I'm my authentic self, that's how we connect. My episode number one, I told this perfunctory nothing first iteration of it, and I knew it sucked. So I deleted that and then I just went blah. And I told my story and talked about that I had gone to rehab and. Nobody said anything.
This whole big secret and everything else. Not one person was like, You went through rehab? Nobody cared. And that's when I learned nobody's paying that much attention. Nobody cares. So whatever it is that you're hiding, nobody cares. And so, that was my, the secret. My close friends know and things like that. It actually provides, besides the fact that, It provides an opportunity and a platform, but I can always help other people that maybe need help that didn't know it's, I was just telling somebody the story and she said, I went live with her, Kelsey, I ate a last week's episode. She said, how tiring to live a life of duality.
And it's true to have any secrets. I always say, this is me. This is, I am who I am. And this is it. So any way that you are hiding yourself or the dream that you secretly want to do it, that you're not doing it, you feel called here to do, or you're unfulfilled or you're on that hamster wheel that I talk about, you can get off of that.
You really can manifest your best life. And it's actually easy to do and not easy to do because of the fear and then the limiting beliefs and all of that. So I wanted to talk about it. And it's that whole thing that if somebody Gets to know you and [00:04:00] sees your vulnerability that they won't like you. It's not true.
And those aren't people you want around you anyway. That's, that's what I definitely discovered. And I was, I just, another little side note, I was just watching John Mulaney's. I don't know when, how long ago he recorded his comedy special, but it was, Hey, Boston, and it was about his going through rehab just a couple of years ago.
It sounds like it's exactly the same as when I went through decades ago. He's hysterical about it, and I guess when he went in, nobody had any idea who he was. And it had been in the papers, he's like, leaving the paper around, trying to be like, see, I'm somebody. It made the papers, I'm in rehab, nobody cared.
And I love that people in rehab think, God, I'm glad I'm not as bad as these other losers in here. Like, everybody, it's the bottom, you've like, nobody strives to end up there. But everyone's like, Oh, do you know who I am? And anyway, it's just so funny. So what kind of limiting belief do you have? I'm just segwaying into like the whole authenticity of what kind of limiting belief do you have that is preventing you from being your authentic self?
And is it that you, is it about what others think? Is it, are you trying to fit in? Take a look at what is it? I've been doing this kind of work for years. Brene Brown, she has a great quote. Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. Who cares what anyone thinks of you or who they think you're supposed to be.
It's to thine own self, be true and to breathe in. And if there's signs that you've lost connection with your true self, when you feel like you're unfulfilled, are you feeling unfulfilled in your own life? Are the things that. They're just rote, that's, that's, you're just going about your day and, you [00:06:00] know, the day is passing and you don't even remember parts of it.
That means it's rote, or you feel like you're a stranger in your own life, or it's the whole hamster wheel, are you not laughing? Was the last time you did some real, just that gut laughing with your friends, another sign that you've lost connection with your true self. You're making decisions. based on what others expect.
When, what do you want to do? Oh, I don't care. What do you want to do? No, have an opinion. Have it like, what do you want to do? What fills you up? What makes you happy? What brings you joy? And if you're not sure, write it down. Start, just write. What brings me joy? And then close your eyes and think about what makes you smile.
Who do you love to see? Cause if you've lost connection to yourself, that's sad. This is it. Life's in session. This is the only one we get this one right now. And you don't have to lose any more time. It's what matters is from this day forward. This isn't to beat yourself up. Like, Oh my [00:07:00] gosh. I'm wasting my time.
No, you get to, you get to live your life now. It's to be aware. This is all about awareness. It's becoming aware. You're doing great. And now you, you're called here. You're listening to this right now for a reason. It's, it's to wake up and be like, Oh my gosh, I am kind of on autopilot. I don't want to be on autopilot.
I want to do what fills me with joy and lights me up. So you can always just write a journal prop. At the top of a piece of paper, uh, preventing me from being my best self. What's preventing me if you're not sure another sign, you've lost connection with your true self is you're always feeling stressed, burned out, unhappy.
You don't feel like you have a sense of purpose. And again, just writing a journaling prompt or just sitting quietly for five minutes, and throwing a question out to the universe, the creative energy of the universe. You'll get your answer if you're just quiet for a minute or take a walk [00:08:00] without a device.
It's really important. I always, I get such great like downloads from the universe when I'm in the shower because there's no one bothering me. There's nothing, there's no device. No, I, there's nothing on. I don't have, music playing or anything, and I get really good ideas. And it's a whole Mel Robbins thing, if you have a good idea, act on it within five seconds, or you probably never will.
Write it down, take an action, take some kind of an action, if you have a good idea, any kind of an action. And there's steps you can take to reconnect with yourself. There's all kinds of self awareness practices that you can do. There's the journaling. There's mindfulness to be aware of the present moment and meditation helps with that.
I'm a big advocate on meditation, obviously, the mindfulness meditation practices and they help you. I always say, somebody was asking me, and this is not original, it's part of what I've learned is. Mindfulness meditation helps you be [00:09:00] aware of the purple flowers when you're walking. And I just love that.
Be aware of each step you're taking when you go for a walk. Think of each step when you place it, when you lift it, when you place the step down. Again, that's mindful walking. And it may sound silly to you, but as you start doing it, you start being aware of Other little things, the leaves on a tree, that's mindful walking.
You can also reconnect with your values. What matters most to you? How do your life choices, are they aligning with those values? These are ways to reconnect with you. And as you reconnect with you, you start feeling better about yourself. You start being more of your authentic self and you start being happier with everyone around you.
And limiting any kind of external influences. Social media, practice saying no, you don't have to say yes to everything that comes to you. I would try to say yes to things that come to me [00:10:00] from the universe, but it doesn't have to be demands upon my time. I'm careful about what I say yes and no to. I can check in with my gut of what's right for me.
So I'm of service always. I always want to be of service to others, but I also, if there are work demands and things like that, that don't resonate with me, then I allow myself to say no these days. So I am very careful with things like that. There's also, you can embrace the process of authenticity. Like it's an ongoing process.
It's all peeling the onion, so to speak. There's layers and that's why the journaling and meditation, I always say those are the two best things to really get to the root of what's going on. And self compassion goes such a long way. Just even just putting your hand on your chest. And breathing and saying this to this belongs.
We're going to talk about limiting beliefs. These are things that are preventing you from being your [00:11:00] authentic self or doing what it is you really want to do. There's some really common ones. I don't have time, but almost everybody on the planet's probably using this excuse at some point. But when you really want to do something, you make time for it.
Cause everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. It's what you do with them that really matters. Or maybe I don't have what it takes. And that's a really easy limiting belief to tell yourself. Cause it's also what that is. It's a fear of failure or maybe fear of success, which. Debra Hurwitz talks about this.
It's such an interesting episode and I wrestle with it in my brain. So much of that being the flip side of the same coin, you can listen to her episode that we compare ourselves to others. And you think I can't do that, but. When you focus on positive of that, instead of the negative, you can go for that.
It's whenever you tell yourself you're right. [00:12:00] So focus on the positive instead of what you can't do. Focus on what you can do and how you can do it and just take 15 minutes a day towards what it is you want to do. And that's a really good way to work yourself out of the, I don't have, or I can't kind of a mindset that I don't deserve love.
I think everybody's been in that place at some point. It's a really common limiting belief in relationships. When you think you don't deserve love, you can reject every potential partner. Sabotage a current relationship. And that's just not a way to get through life at all. And when you're having a limiting belief about yourself, that you're not good enough or whatever it is, ask yourself, is it true?
Is the limiting belief, is it true? And then ask yourself, what's it like to live with this belief? And then ask yourself, where is it in your body? Close your eyes and feel, ask yourself, what's the belief? It resides someplace in your body. They all do. It's someplace. And then, and you have to sit quietly with this, where does that vulnerable place need?
What does it need? And just sit quietly with that and see what's needed. So the first question is, ask yourself if it's true, what's it like to live with this belief? Where in your body is it? And what does that vulnerable place need? And it's a way to work through this. And what would you do if you didn't believe there was anything wrong with you?
It's a powerful question to ask yourself. What would you do if you didn't believe there was anything wrong with you? That's a really good way to get to be your authentic self. Embracing authenticity is, it's a central for living a life of purpose and fulfillment. When you're your true self and genuine.
With others, I said it before, it's like when you're your true self, and I'm being my true self, and I mean, I disclose everything on here, really, and you're like that with me, that's how we connect. And that's how you get to create deeper connections, you get to experience greater fulfillment, all the studies have shown this.
And it's how you live a more meaningful life. And who doesn't want that? Studies are showing, that you live longer, healthier, and happier when you're in that kind of a place. So. I just heard that authenticity, being authentic, has you vibrate at a higher vibration. I have no idea where that study comes from, but that being your authentic self actually helps you vibrate at the highest frequency.
Okay, so no more people-pleasing. Everyone's going to be totally 100 percent authentic to themselves. What it is that you want to do in this life. One of the messages of hope when I compiled all the messages of hope from the first hundred episodes. One of the messages is life's in session. This is it. No dress rehearsal.
So whatever it is that you really want to do, go for it. This is it. Be authentic, be your own true self.
I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and take with you the messages of trust and authenticity of course. Such great messages to take into your week ahead. Be sure to tune in next week when inspirational leaders, self improvement advocate, and Mike French joins. It's such a good episode. This guy is great. Are you ready to create a life that's more aligned with your joy? Doing what fills you up and makes you happy instead of drudgery? He's all about community, getting raw and real, and doing the deal for you and your life. It's a great episode. Super upbeat. One of my favorites.
And that's next week. You don't want to miss that. I'd love feedback on my website. If you have a second, what does it read? Well, where I need more authenticity just go to 52weeksofhope.com. If you're enjoying the podcast, share the love and tell two of your friends. I'm Lauren Abrams, thanks for listening.
