How to Heal Yourself and Stand in Your Own Power with Cheryl Schirillo
Wanna know when your energy level's highest? Why your skin, hair, and joints get dry, and which foods cure that? Listen as Cheryl helps you tune into your body, mind, and spirit.
Dive into the ancient healing and wisdom practice of Ayurveda and gain insights into you, your digestive health, and your overall well-being.
“Women who understand and honor the 28-day rhythm throughout the month are a lot happier and take care of themselves a lot better. - (4:43) Cheryl
Listen as Ayurveda health and mindfulness teacher Cheryl Schirillo provides you with insights on Ayurveda’s powerful impact on women’s lives and how it can help you live a healthier, more balanced life.
”Everything in the universe, dead or alive, is connected to your mind, body, and spirit in harmony with the universe, nature, and the seasons. And you get to have good health when everything's in harmony.” – (1:46) Cheryl
Learn Dosha dos & don'ts: the different doshas and how aligning your lifestyle with your dosha can bring balance and vitality to your life. How to start your day with magic and the transformative practice of gratitude! Begin awakening practices and why paying attention to dream messages matters. You’re going to attract the best people to you after listening to Cheryl and Lauren in this episode.
“Find your soul tribe, the others who are just really, really grateful to be alive.” – (36:47) Cheryl
In This Episode:
(4:00) – The different rhythm cycles of men and women.
(4:26) – How your energy differs depending on the full moon versus the new moon.
(4:43) – How to notice and honor your rhythms.
(5:20) – What to do during a new moon cycle.
(6:16) – How the moon impacts your appetite and digestive system.
(7:00) – Food recommendations with Ayurveda.
(8:45) – Understanding the role of your diet.
(10:21) – How to define your dosha.
(13:00) – What happens when you're out of balance with your dosha.
(13:21) – Why you should eat juicy foods and the power of life consistency.
(13:57) – How cold drinks impact your digestive system.
(17:21) – The infusion of East Indian shamanism into the practice.
(19:35) - Swimming with Dolphin.
(22:58) – Understanding dolphins and how smart they are.
(26:40) – How to meditate, and it’s okay to start with two minutes.
(27:05) – How meditation helps you to thrive.
(31:41) – Can you really talk to plants?
(32:30) – The power of herb combinations.
(33:00) – The conversation with nature is two-way but only happens when you open your heart.
(33:44) – The most magical time of the day.
(35:09) – The importance of focusing on the one thing you’re looking forward to.
Resources and Links
52 Weeks of Hope
Go to https://www.magicmind.co/hopelauren and get up to 50% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code HOPELAUREN.
Cheryl Schirillo
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Cheryl [00:00:00] Well, one of the really interesting things I found out when I started studying Ayurveda was men's bodies, or if you're in a physical body that you identify as a man, cycles in 24 hours. So, which is how all of our Western world is really designed. The workday is designed by, you know, nine to five and every day the same. And that works, really good if you're in a male body. But if you're in a female body, we have a 28-day cycle. So how energetic we are, how much we want to be out in the world, how extroverted we are. That is all happening around the full moon.
Lauren [00:00:38] Welcome to 52 weeks of Hope. This is where you get to hear how to feel happy, balanced and worthwhile. How to make that lonely vanish and feel empowered, confident and secure. I'm Lauren Abrams. I get to help you feel that magic again. Since going through my own dark night of the soul by chatting with incredible leaders, healers, and change agents who give us their messages of hope after overcoming challenges of their own. And today, we're talking to Ayurveda , health wellness and mindfulness teacher Cheryl Schirillo. Want to know when your energy levels highest, why your skin, hair and joints get dry this time of year, which foods cure that? Cheryl's here helping you tune into your body, mind and spirit Wellness. She was a single mom working at her own startup, stressed out, needing to chill, beginning with meditation, then furthering her practices she learned while pitching investors how to fully enjoy her experiences, be tuned into what's happening and peacefully interact with loved ones and coworkers. And today she lets you know how to do that and a whole lot more. Listen now is Cheryl's here giving you simple tools for coping with everyday stressors. Welcome to the 52 weeks of Hope, Cheryl.
Cheryl [00:01:39] I am so excited to be here. Thank you.
Lauren [00:01:42] Yeah. I know that students of Ayurveda believes that everything in the universe, dead or alive, is connected to your mind, body and spirit in harmony with the universe, nature and the seasons and you get to have good health when everything's in harmony. When that balance is messed up, You don't feel well. Is that the area of Ayurveda that you work in?
Cheryl [00:02:01] Yes. I love partnering with nature as I work in Ayurveda practice with people, and I also follow a summer form wisdom practice with my Ayurveda.
Lauren [00:02:12] So tell me about that.
Cheryl [00:02:14] Well, Ayurveda is thousands of years old. It originated in India. It actually predates Chinese medicine. And originally Ayurveda was taught by the grandmothers. They were the master healers, and the grandmothers passed their wisdom on to their daughters and their granddaughters. And so there were all of these beautiful practices around your moon time and gardening and working with herbs and child-rearing and childbirth and menopause. And then when India was colonized by the British, Ayurveda went underground because they didn't really want the native Indian people of India having this really powerful medicine on their own. They wanted them to use British medicine. But of course it worked so well for everyone by practicing it, trying to run the down low. But then Ayurveda made a resurgence but the men kind of took the lead as Ayurveda doctors, and they overlaid some of the Western medical practices and modalities over Ayurveda. And so the Ayurveda that was originally practiced many thousands of years ago is a little bit different now when kind of men took the lead again, and that's great. I mean, Ayurveda practiced in that way is so powerful and wonderful, and I love it. But I also love all of these women's wisdom practices that I learn by Ayurveda practice through years of study with the Shockley School and they really embrace that feminine form wisdom ways.
Lauren [00:03:48] Tell us about some of those.
Cheryl [00:03:50] Well, one of the really interesting things I found that when I started studying Ayurveda was men's bodies or if you're in a physical body that you identify as a man cycles in 24 hours. So, which is how all of our Western world is really designed. The workday is designed by, you know, nine to five and every day the same, and that works really, really good if you're in a male body. But if you're in a female body, we have a 28 day cycle. So how energetic we are, how much we want to be out in the world, how extroverted we are. That is all happening around the full moon. And then as the moon starts going into when you're getting closer to a new realm, then you want a lot more inward time. You might be a little bit tired, need some more sleep now feel like being a social and out in the world as much and women who really understand that and honor that 28 day rhythm throughout the month we just are a lot happier and able to take care of ourselves a lot better and give ourselves a frickin break from having to be on the same level every single day because we're just work that way.
Lauren [00:05:00] I'm just learning about this and I got a immunology diary so that I would know based on the moon what days to schedule more and what days not to show. How do I know how to work this and how will people who are listening know when to schedule more, when not to, if that?
Cheryl [00:05:17] Well, again, the new moon is a time when you have a little bit less energy. You might not have as much appetite. You want to kind of be nestled in at home a little bit more with a nice cup of tea and some Netflix. And so that would be a time where you didn't want to be really heavily scheduling or launching new things into the world. Right. And then as we get closer to the new moon, that's when we get really gregarious and we want to be out in the world more. So a fuller schedule works really great for us to wait.
Lauren [00:05:46] You mean a full moon?
Cheryl [00:05:48] The full moon.
Lauren [00:05:49] Okay. You said new moon.
Cheryl [00:05:50] I'm sorry. The new moon is kind of the lower part.
Lauren [00:05:53] Okay, so new as nestling full means a full schedule.
Cheryl [00:05:57] Full means a full schedule. Yes, exactly. Okay, So, yeah. So those are and eating too you might notice, like your appetite changes quite a lot. So for me, when it's closer to the new moon, I have a more voracious appetite, probably because I'm being more active. I'm out and about, more and running more energy and then around the new moon you know, I really don't my appetite isn't as big. I want to have lighter meals. I want to, you know, lighter foods as well as smaller meals or maybe smaller meals during the day instead of like one big meal. Another thing with Ayurveda, living in harmony with nature and these feminine form ways is our digestive fire is highest in the middle of the day. So that's when we want our body is really ready. It's a process of needing more food or a little bit harder to digest richer food. And after about 6:00, our body doesn't is going into processing all the emotions and activities of the day and everything we eat. So really eating light like light at dinner is recommended in irate. So again, just living in harmony with the cycles of nature and the sea runs of nature.
Lauren [00:07:06] It's very interesting. So this was passed down, I would imagine orally, from grandmother for generations. Okay, What else? These are such good nuggets.
Cheryl [00:07:14] Well, I when I read before I started practicing, Ayurveda I was in my early forties and Ayurveda also has these three major body types, body mind, spirit types called doshas. Yes. Well, a lot of people have heard about that So you're either primarily a pitta dosha or a Vata dosha or a Kapha dosha. You can be different combinations of things. And I happen to be a heavy pitta with a good amount of Vata. So Pitta is the really fiery dosha and Vata is the more airy dosha around lots of movement and dynamic things, and it can tend to be a little bit scattered to you. And then Katha are the wonderful Earth mothers grounded by loving, kind they usually have really sick, lustrous hair. You kind of have some type of hair going on and the big beautiful legs and big eyes. But anyway, so I have a lot of this fiery nature along with this more airy dynamics kind of constitution. And I was doing a lot of things that were not really supportive for my dosha and for my age. So this was and I was getting close to getting up to 50 and I was drinking lots and lots of coffee. I was also drinking a good bit of red wine, not tons, but, you know, I get back to being healthy. I was eating lots and lots of salads. I was snacking on popcorn and crackers. And none of these things are bad, per se. But for my age and my constitution, they were really throwing me out of whack. So I was having my hair was getting really brittle and dry and cracking. My joints were kind of in the same boat and they were really achy. I was starting to gain a little bit of weight. My skin was really dry, so all of this dryness was happening and I was doing a lot of things that were very dry so that drinking the coffee, that is a diuretic and it also kind of messes with your adrenal system. And the red wine was also very drying. The popcorn and crackers were very drying. So I was eating virtually no fat. And women need really good healthy fats like avocado, oil, ghee, which is clarified butter, which is a Veda, says it's one of the absolute best things you can eat avocados, oatmeal with ghee and cinnamon. And so we need good healthy fats and warm, juicy things, especially as we get older and in the fall season to keep ourselves from getting dried out. And so I just found out that a lot of the things that I was doing that I thought were just fine or even healthy for me were actually causing me a lot of problems. All the salads and around foods I was eating, I. Wasn't digesting them well, and that would be a lot of talk when I'm in my body.
Lauren [00:10:04] Now, how do you know what dosha you are, though? There's three different doshas. Is this the same for anybody in that because there's a lot of listeners that are probably premenopausal or menopausal. At the same for anyone that's in that kind of situation crackers and popcorn are bad or?
Cheryl [00:10:19] Well, if your skin is really dry, your hair is dry and breaking your joints are cracking and popping, you might have a lot of gas. That means that you probably do have an imbalance in your body dosha. It's elevated.
Lauren [00:10:33] Okay, so what is Vata Dosha?
Cheryl [00:10:35] So to answer your first question, how do you know what dosha you are? So you're born with a certain dosha constitution. And the way you figure that out is there's a lot of websites online where they have a dosha quiz that you can take. I really love Banyan Botanicals, they have a great Dosha quiz and the Chopra Institute has a really good ocean quiz as well. So when you take that quiz, it tells you what your Dosha constitution is from birth and it tells you which of your doshas are currently out of balance because you can be born with any dosha and then throughout your lives any of the three can be out of balance. And first you want to take care what is currently out of balance and come into harmony. And then once you're in a good place overall, then you cultivate a lifestyle with what you eat and how you exercise and what kinds of things you watch on TV and your creative life matters in alignment with the Dosha Constitution that you were born with. Okay, so a lot of the things that I just mentioned, we're all about Vata dosha. So my Vata dosha was elevated and was out of balance. And those are theVata dosha people who are born with Vata a lot of times they have their toddler and a little or a little thinner side smaller and bone kind of long arms, long legs. They kind of volleyball player bodies and they tend to have a little bit thinner hair and their skin can be a little bit drier. A lot of times they're really they're the life of the party. They're really charismatic, but they like to jump from one thing to another saying little, My ADHD might be a problem when they're in balance. they're, as I said, really vivacious and energetic and really fun. When they're out of balance, they might have problems with anxiety and getting overwhelmed and feeling left out, not being able to get grounded. Those are tendencies that the person might have.
Lauren [00:12:40] Okay.
Cheryl [00:12:41] And then you want to hear about the other two or?
Lauren [00:12:44] Yeah, but also you start to say when you're having brittle hair and other characteristics, there are certain things that you could do with that, just having avocado and ghee.
Cheryl [00:12:54] So of the brittle hair and all of that is your body notion being out of balance. And yes, you are getting close to menopause or after menopause. That's the vital time of your life. So everyone would do really well to take care of their body constitution at that point in their life. So if you're basically want to do things that help you stay juicy, say juicy and mobile and consistent in your life. So one of the thing that's really, really helpful for Vata is a consistent schedule throughout the day, waking up about the same time, going to bed about the same time, eating your meals about the same time during the day. So really regularity in your life. And then you do have a tendency toward dryness. So you want to be staying hydrated with herbal teas and water and not cold drinks in general, are Ayurveda says cold drinks are not a good idea. It really dampens your digestive fire. But if you're having a lot of symptoms and dryness in your body, then cold water or any kind of cold drink really upsets your whole system. So warm or hot drinks is really good for you. And then making sure you're getting really good fats in your diet. So that's the Mercado oil, coconut oil, olive oil for salads. Is that really great to cook with olive oil because it changes It's consistency needed, but clarified butter is just so good for you eating avocados. All of that really is helpful for people have a Vata constitution. And then there's also this self massage with warm oils called Ayurveda. And that's a whole conversation in itself, but that's oiling yourself from the outside in. So using sesame oil or avocado oil to oil your body, especially in the winter, really is helpful and nourishing for Vatas.
Lauren [00:14:51] Okay. You want to give the other two doshas?.
Cheryl [00:14:55] Also been referring to Pitta doshas is another really fun one. People like you who are self-starters and create things and put things out in the world and are leaders and way showers. Typically, that's a pitta personality. And so we make great leaders. We like to take charge very dynamic. And then on the flip side, as we get out of balance, we can be kind of intense, critical, self-critical or critical of others, a little bit judgmental thinking we know the best way to do things and not being shy about sharing that with other people. And we go to frustration and anger where I'm not a person but go to anxiety and worry and pitta people usually are pretty proportionate, medium boned. not real small bone, but kind of medium boned. We tend to have reddish hair or tones to our hair a little bit in hair, sometimes blue eyes, kind of medium finer features. But our digestion is really, really good. We really don't have any digestive problems because we have all of that digestive fire from our fiery nature. So that's the basics with Pitta. And then I mentioned a little bit with Kapha. Kapha people are usually a little bit bigger bone. That's they have gorgeous lustrous hair a lot of times bigger eyes, really nice eyelashes, bigger lamps. Their skin is really beautiful. Pitta And the Vatas as we wrinkle here for you a little bit earlier and Kapha people just keep that really lustrous moist skin fur and their skin in general is really moist and they're in balance and in harmony, really loving, kind like the best friend, had a great mother's really nurturing earth mother kind of types, and then out of balance, can get a little bit like wanting to sleep too much or tendency toward depression or maybe a little clingy or hoarding kind of tendencies and then maybe having trouble getting started with things with the Kaphas they take a while to get going with something. But once they get going, their momentum can just carry them they have their like the long term, you know, they can run long distances versus the pittas are like more the sprinters.
Lauren [00:17:17] Those are great. Now, you also infuse East Indian shamanism in your teachings. I read, and that just sounds so cool. Can you explain that going with feelings, or what exactly do you do with that?
Cheryl [00:17:30] So ten years ago, well, actually made we're getting close to 50 years ago now. I was a full time business person. I had my own public relations and marketing company. I was very well known in the community, moving and shaking, and worked with a lot of artists and social service organizations. And I also had a start out called the Imagination Installation. So and I was a single mom with two young kids. So all kinds of stuff was going on, really exciting, dynamic time of my life. But I was really having problems with stress and feeling that I wasn't really sure that I had a the spiritual purpose in my life. I wasn't feeling skilled in that area. And so I found out about this women's circle called the Clan Mother Circle that was happening in my town at Flower Eagle Medicine Lodge. And so I decided to sign up and participate in the circle. And we met once a month and worked with this wonderful book by Jamie Sams called The Thirteen Original Clan Mothers. And it was all about Native American spiritual practices and nature based practices and fire ceremonies and calling ceremonies and working on the soul level and getting in connection with conversations of trees and rocks and the animal kingdom. And it was through that word that I started getting connected to wild dolphins and leading wild dolphin retreats. So I threw a flower eagle medicine lodge. I do found healing sessions and resonance healing and sold the soul work. And it's really beautiful practice. So when I work with my Ayurveda clients, like any healer or any person who works in our hands, our healing modality, I weave in some of this sound therapy and the East Indian shamanism training that I've had as well as the Native American practices.
Lauren [00:19:27] That's so cool. Okay, you have to talk about your dolphin retreats.
Cheryl [00:19:30] Well, that's one of my biggest passions, is being in the open ocean swimming, wild dolphin. It's amazing that even exists as a thing. And I was doing some work out of MIT through this practice, this class online class called Ulab. And Otto Shaman, who was head of the business school at MIT, took us through what was really a shamanic worldwide meditation. 23,000 of us were connected blind heart-to-heart. And he took us to looking to what our piece of the emerging future was through this meditation experience. And I saw myself in the ocean with wild dolphins, working with a group of people. And, I mean, I like dolphins just fine, but I didn't have any, you know, I wasn't a big dolphin person. But I thought, well, I don't know exactly what bad is, but that sounds pretty interesting. So I just started paying attention. Any time anything about dolphins came into my life, and it was this was about eight years ago, and my husband and I were looking for something to do for our second wedding anniversary. And I said, you know, it would be really cool to swim with Dolphin, but I don't want to swim with dolphins in captivity because they keep those dolphins.
Lauren [00:20:46] Yeah, yeah.
Cheryl [00:20:47] Yeah. So I said, I only want to do it in the wild. And I found out about this little island about 50 miles off the coast of Florida, where supposedly you can swim with wild dolphins. So we walked to an Airbnb and this guy said he knew where the dolphins were. And so we just went there for a long weekend. And the first day we're out with this guy in his tiny little mostly seaworthy bike, riding around for like 7 hours. And we saw, you know, sea turtles and fish and it was beautiful, but there were no dolphins. So I'm like, this is just a scam, right? I mean, I don't really know that. But we woke up the next morning and I said, and the water was completely flat. And the day before, I had been pretty jumping. And he was saying, it's hard to see the dolphins. And so I said to my husband, I said, Well, I think we should try it again, because if it's true that we could actually swim with wild dolphins then and we don't do it just for the money or because we're not sure. I mean, I don't want to pass up on the opportunity. Well, we went out there the next day and we ended up coming upon a pod of 30 bottlenose dolphins. And it was just me and my husband and this guy dved in the boat and he said, Well, hurry,get on your snorkel gear and jump in the water. They might, you know, they might swim somewhere else. And now I'm looking down in the water. And, you know, these are seven feet long, thousands of animals. I'm like, are we really going to jump in the ocean,with wild animals and dug in the boat. And my husband's super comfortable in the ocean and all of that but I'm like, but then it just flashed through my head so fast. I'm like, Hell, yes, I'm going to jump and not missing out on. So we get our snorkel. gear, we jump in the ocean, and immediately a dolphin swims right up and straight in my eyes. I mean, I could have reached out and petted him and the intelligence and the sentiment of awareness in this dolphin's eyes, I will never forget it. It was absolutely magical. And I knew, like if there was a competition on who's the more spiritually evolved one of the two of us, it was definitely the dolphin. So we were in the ocean, just my husband and I, for two and a half hours with 30 dolphins. And when you have your snorkel mask and you're looking under the water and we are in the Bahamas, so the Bahamas bank is only like 35 feet deep, crystal clear blue, aqua blue water. Amazing. And you can just see everything. It's like you're in a Disney movie or the Discovery Channel. I mean, it's amazing. It's a very different from seeing glimpses of a Dolphin's fin. And they were just underneath us and swimming up to us. And I mean, it was just magical. So every single year since then, I have gone to swim with these wild dolphins. And a few years ago I found out about a retreat center where they had this amazing sailing catamaran where we go out with them every day on the water for the whole day and, you know, drive around until we find the dolphins and you put on your snorkel gear and you jump in and they're just swimming all around you. So gentle. And these are mostly spotted dolphins. But sometimes we also see the bottle nose. But it is just the biggest joy connection. It's unbelievable to be up close in the ocean with the dolphin.
Lauren [00:23:58] Yeah, I actually swam with a whole bunch of dolphins by myself in Hawaii. And because I saw them, they were so close that I grabbed up boogie board and I just started going out over the waves and they just seemed so close, and then I thought, What am I doing? You know, because I was going out and all of a sudden I came down on a wave and they were all there, all these dolphins. And it was magical. It was an incredible experience.
Cheryl [00:24:23] Incredible.
Lauren [00:24:24] And yours is not of because you're in clear water.
Cheryl [00:24:27] Yes. And these dolphins have been with these people for 20 years. So they really have a relationship and a connection. And I've been with dolphins in other parts of the world, you know, and just like in a kayak or on a boat. And it's a little bit different with these dolphins because they know them so well and they've so respectful and everything is on the Dolphins terms.
Lauren [00:24:48] So you have a good Segway somewhat. So here you are, you are a single mom, you're stressed out, You're you've got your start-up. How did you end up in meditation?
Cheryl [00:24:58] Well, I had known about meditation for my whole lives my mom had been a meditator, for she had practiced transcendental meditation T.M. forever. So people would ask, Well, where is your mom? I don't known she's off hibernating somewhere, which is what we got when she medicated. So and my brother was a Buddhist, and so he had a really intense, very thorough meditation practice, and I knew he would help me, but I was my pet. I was so activated and I was so stressed out, but thought of just sitting somewhere, you know, for a half an hour and not moving. I'm just like, I can't do it. It's just too hard. And I would try and I would fail and it wouldn't work. And then my brother was visiting Buddhist and his name is David, and we were sitting at my kitchen table and I was, you know, in tears that I was telling him just how freaked out I was. And everything's going up the rails and I didn't know what to do. And I was in therapy, which definitely helps. And but it wasn't enough. And I was exercising and I wasn't sleeping. And he said, Well, Cheryl, I really think it would help if you could meditate. And I said, well, David, I tend to sit on a cushion for 30 minutes and meditate. I just there's no way. He said, Do you think you could sit on that cushion for 2 minutes and you don't even have to meditate. Just don't get up, just close your eyes for 2 minutes and don't get up. And I said, Yes, I think I could try that. And he goes, okay, well, that is actually meditating. Let's do that. So he got me started and he was there for a week. And every day we sat on the cushion and I worked my way up to 10 minutes and it felt so good to just rest.
Lauren [00:26:30] That is the most perfect thing you can ever say. Start with two.
Cheryl [00:26:34] Yes, 2 minutes and then three and then it was 10 minutes of my day when I didn't have to plan or do or think or take care of anybody. And so it just became this. And then it you know, I'd say I would commit to ten, but I would say I could stay longer if I wanted to, as So usually it was around 20 minutes. And then I also started doing a watching meditation in the afternoon outside, especially when it was when things were really, really crazy and I just needed to also move. So then I would go outside and walk for ten, 15, maybe 20 minutes and do a vigorous walking meditation. And it really it saved my health and saved my mental health. I was much better mother and I kept doing it because it was my safety net. And it really I mean, I just felt so much more grounded and present and the feeling that everything would be okay entering the present moment. What is happening right now, I can completely enjoy and handle whatever is happening right now. And the world was beautiful and I had gotten so caught up in my thoughts that I was missing out on my life.
Lauren [00:27:48] You say it so beautifully. I love that. What's the hardest thing that you've been through and how did you get through it?
Cheryl [00:27:55] I would definitely say my divorce was the hardest thing that I've ever gone through. My husband had bipolar disorder and he was a psychologist and he was taking all of his medications and doing all of the right things. And but he was having his medications weren't working and he was having breakthrough episodes and his form of mania came across as hypercriticalness to me and anger. And so none of that fun citing people with mania. So anyway, but it developed really, really slowly over about ten years. So I thought, you know, I was the crazy one and I was sitting we were in a couples' therapy session and he had just unloaded all this anger and horrible stuff on me. And I was just at the breaking point and I went to see our therapist by myself the next day, which was very unusual. But he's, you know, he knew kind of where things were. So he said, come on in. And he looked at me and he said, The amount of anger I saw coming from your husband toward you was the same amount of anger that I have seen only one other time when I was working with prisoners on death row. And that statement shown on spotlights on my life and what it actually was, not what I wanted it to be, not what I thought it could be. And I you know, we have two young kids I need to work it out, was like, wow. And he had done just a little better of saying something the week before that gave me the inkling that he might be capable of turning the anger and the critical on to my voice. And I was like, That's it. I went from like years of therapy and trying everything under the sun to I am done today and with our couples therapist and also with my personal therapist, I made a plan to get out and, you know, have him get out. And I don't need to go into that big hole. Long story. But once I made that decision, I think even on a spiritual level, like everyone involved, including my now ex-husband knew that it was done and she was mobilizing and so just the path cleared and everything went perfectly and smoothly. And I mean, it was the hardest telling sitting down with my kids and telling them that, you know, the family was breaking up and I was getting a divorce from your father was the hardest thing that I'd absolutely ever done. But in the end, you know, I mean, they got a mother and a father that were real people, that they wanted to be in the world. And we were much better parents. We parented together great, actually, better after that. So but it was the support of my parents and my spiritual practice and just owning that I deserved to be happy. That got me through. And it was no picnic, but it was the hardest and the best thing that I ever did for myself and for my two kids.
Lauren [00:30:52] Yeah, it's amazing what we are in it. I mean, maybe we know, but we're going to stay in it no matter what for the kids.
Cheryl [00:31:00] And then, yeah, I didn't have a clear picture of what.
Lauren [00:31:03] I don't think anything.
Cheryl [00:31:04] Really was.
Lauren [00:31:05] Yeah, I don't think anybody does when they're in it. Or maybe you do, but it's keeping the family intact versus, you know, maybe it's even better not having that. So I understand.
Cheryl [00:31:16] I feel that I had I mean, I have so many support systems and lifelines and I mean, my heart goes out to, you know, the women who don't have that so they can just say, okay, done, you know, and I'm taking my kids and I'm out.
Lauren [00:31:29] Yeah, that's true. I mean, yeah. What's the most common question you're asked?
Cheryl [00:31:33] One of the most common questions I get asked is, can you really talk to the plants? So I work with a lot of herbs, right, and I have a garden. And I love being in direct communion with the plant people and cooking and making herbal concoctions, and, I mean, I have done a lot of study and, you know, I'm certified and working with herbs and medicines and things like that. But do I know the qualities of the herbs and what works well together and what, you know, how they work with your body and all of that. But really, now that I have all of that wisdom, when I'm putting together a herbal remedy for myself or, you know, my cup of tea, I'm standing in front of my apothecary, which is a beautiful cupboard I have where you know, all the different kinds of dried herbs and tinctures and everything. And I'm really in a conversation with the plant people who wants to play, who is here to help with this situation for myself or for my client or for my mom or, you know, one of my kids, whatever it is. And I've gotten, I've always since I was a little girl, taught of plants and flowers and trees and rocks. But when I started working with the Native American traditions, I started to be able to actually also hear that, you know, the conversation was two way. So that's what comes to mind is the most common question is can you really talk to the trees?
Lauren [00:32:57] Makes that make sense to me. You know what to put together for this particular person or thing or situation that would make sense to me.
Cheryl [00:33:04] Yes. And that all and it's so much fun. But everyone can obviously talk to the plant people, to the trees, to the dolphins. But the key is to open your heart and relax and trust that you also can hear what they are saying to you as well.
Lauren [00:33:21] Yeah. So always the listening, right?
Cheryl [00:33:23] Absolutely.
Lauren [00:33:23] Yeah. Now, what would you tell somebody who's having a tough time getting up in the morning? And I don't mean clinical depression or anything close to what your ex-husband or anything like that. Just that general malaise. What would you tell somebody having a tough time?
Cheryl [00:33:35] So then one of the most magical times of your day is when you're just arising out of sleep. So you're not all the way awake, but you're not all the way asleep. And it's really a delicious time to tune in to your body and to have a gratitude practice. So if you're having a hard time getting up and getting going for your day, kind of indulge, say, and sort of getting into this should format of I should do this or I should do that, really say it. All right, This is a super delicious time to give gratitude to my body. I want to just like seal my legs on the soft sheets and to give gratitude to myself for actually my body for all that it does to me and this precious, precious opportunity of having a human body. The Buddhist have a teaching that says there are untold amount of souls, billions and billions more than you could ever imagine, waiting for the precious opportunity to incarnate into a human body. Because when you're not incarnated, you are loved. But the only way to experience love, feel and gain lungs is to be in a human body. So it's just this most precious, precious thing. So I give gratitude for that. And then and I, you know, I kind of to tune in for any dream messages that I might have. And then think of one thing I'm really looking forward to for that day. And then from that point, I get up and I start my day. And so it actually feels like you're doing something, you know, a little bit like you're indulging in something. And it only takes really a few minutes to do this practice. But it completely changes how you feel when you get up and starting your morning. And then the other thing really, good to do when you first get up is to drink hot water. You're pretty dehydrated after the whole night. And when you drink hot water in the morning, it really gets all your systems moving and it helps you have a nice bowel movement. And there's a really a great tongue scraping, tongue cleaning practice, too. Ayurveda, which is really highly recommended, anything that we don't need in our body gets some Alma, some toxins get deposited on our tongue and when we scrape them off, then we're not, you know, drinking them in with our coffee or tea or our hot water or whatever. And it also really weakens your taste buds up, everything tastes a lot better. And it also, when you get into irate a little bit more, it tells you a lot about what's kind of happening with your digestive system.
Lauren [00:36:14] Those are so good. Do you have a message of hope that you would want to give?
Cheryl [00:36:18] You know, it's a super intense time to be alive on planet Earth right now. And, you know, I mean, on every level with social justice, it's really, really intense. And I feel like it's the most magical and precious time to be alive in a way on the earth right now. And so to find other people, to find your soul tribe about others who are just really, really grateful to be alive and to be playing their one special, precious role in the world. And, you know, any time I and feeling a little bit helpless or overwhelmed, all I need to do is go outside and take a walk in the woods and be with nature. And, you know, the nature and the planet is so incredibly beautiful and we are working with each other. And I really believe that we are all evolving and ascending to be operating at a place of peace and love that we have never seen on the planet before. So that's the piece of the world that I want to stay focused on and that I want to contribute to. And I'm really grateful for the small little piece of that I get to carry.
Lauren [00:37:34] Yeah, Instead of the one step, two steps forward, one step back, because some people don't like change and resist it and it's okay.
Cheryl [00:37:43] I heard this really wonderful statistic from a scientist, what how many people it takes to, like, change that dynamic And it's less than 20% of any group can have enough momentum to take the whole group to that tipping point. So that's less than one person in a family of four or, you know, 20% of one community. And you know, it's everyone else, everyone on the planet doesn't have to get on board and change to make a positive dramatic difference. Just a little bit less than 20 of us can create the tipping point that takes the whole shebang over to the other side.
Lauren [00:38:27] It just sometimes it feels like. But I love that you talk about going into nature because just putting our feet into the dirt and getting grounded and taking up that for us and breathing in the oxygen, just that alone can make such a difference. And whatever we focus on grows. So when we focus on the love and we focus on the good and the beauty, then that's what grows. So I just love your message of hope. And I actually wrote down because I never heard it before, the only way to feel love and be loved is to be in the human body. You said it was a Buddhist teaching. I mean, that was just to me, that was profound. So I love that. And I loved all your messages of hope and your teachings. And I like, do you sell your herbs? I'm thinking I could never do that. But that's not my colleague.
Cheryl [00:39:12] Well, I really only provide herbal formulas to my clients that I'm working with or friends and family. So no, I don't. But there's a lot of my favorite place to buy herbs is Mt. Rose herbs. So they are really they do a beautiful job of cultivating them and the places where they grow the best and sustainable practices. So that is that's a really high quality source for herbs.
Lauren [00:39:35] And I will have all of Cheryl's contact information and everything on the website, of course. Thank you so much for being a guest today on 52 weeks of Hope.
Cheryl [00:39:44] Oh, thank you, it was really wonderful.
Lauren [00:39:46] Yeah, I really enjoyed hearing your messages.
[00:39:50] I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and take with you the messages of honesty, gratitude and an open heart. Such great messages to take into your week ahead. Be sure to tune in next week for another empowering episode all about how to live abundantly, authentically and how to have fun. It's a great episode that's super upbeat, and that's next week. You definitely don't want to miss that. Be sure to sign up for a free confidence and clarity boost sessions. If you're struggling, this might be for you. It's for those who feel like life's passing them by, your inner critic scoring nonstop. You're feeling burnt out and jealous of those who are doing what you wish you were doing. Just go to the website of 52 Weeks of Hope dot com and sign up over there. If you're enjoying the podcast, share the love and tell two of your friends. I'm Lauren Abrams. Thanks for listening.