Unlocking Life's Secrets: Seven Life Lessons
Are you feeling burned out, overwhelmed by life’s endless responsibilities, and longing for a deeper sense of purpose? Dive into this special episode of "52 Weeks of Hope" as Lauren Abrams distills wisdom from 200 episodes into 7 transformative life lessons that promise to uncover the wisdom of self-compassion, the power of friendships, and the importance of staying true to yourself. Learn how to pause, breathe, and discover that you already have the answers within you.
Whether you're seeking a burst of motivation, strategies to reset your life, or simply a reason to smile again, this episode offers practical guidance to inspire your path forward. Lauren's personal journey from a dark night of the soul to a beacon of hope will resonate deeply with anyone seeking more meaning and joy in their lives.
Discover techniques for self-reflection and mindfulness that can reveal your true path.
The transformative power of self-compassion and the art of staying true to yourself and living a life that's aligned with your own values and dreams, not someone else’s expectations.
How small acts of kindness and being of service can dramatically increase your happiness and sense of purpose.
These lessons offer a comprehensive roadmap for personal growth and authentic living, from discovering your innate wisdom and forming meaningful friendships to staying true to yourself and embracing life as it happens. You’ll explore the power of service, the necessity of community, and, above all, the essential role of love in your life.
Stay tuned if you're prepared to take a deep breath, stop, and discover the solutions on your own. This episode will give you all the knowledge you need to lead a happier, more genuine life. It's time to move beyond the superficial and embrace the profound, living each day with hope and authenticity.
Tune in, learn to remove societal expectations, and embrace your unique calling.
"What lights you up? Not what do other people expect of you. What lights you up? What makes you happy? What brings you meaning?" - Lauren (09:55).
Lauren passionately highlights the significance of self-fulfillment through a thought-provoking question: “What lights you up?” Forget about societal pressures and live on your own terms.
By embracing the things that genuinely bring you happiness and a sense of purpose, you can liberate yourself from external demands and create a life that reflects your authentic self.
"If you're somebody who doesn't wanna start until you could do it perfect, just know you could never do anything perfectly. It's a fact of nature that you can't. And so just do it. Like, this is your time right now." - Lauren (13:32).
When you stop trying to be perfect, you can enjoy the moment and make real progress toward your dreams. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
This change in thinking can make you less stressed and anxious, and also help you be more creative. Embracing imperfection can give you the courage to take big steps, learn from your experiences, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and successful life.
"Wishing you live a life true to yourself instead of the life others expected of you, wishing you didn't work so hard. Nobody ever died. I mean, nobody on their deathbed ever wished they worked harder or made more money. Can't take it with you." - Lauren (19:47)
Reflecting on the most significant regrets people have on their deathbed, Lauren underscores the vital significance of living a life that aligns with their true selves rather than being shaped by others' expectations. Prioritizing personal fulfillment, relationships, and experiences can lead to a more meaningful and gratifying life.
Join us in beginning your journey toward a life filled with hope, genuineness, and authentic self-expression.
In this episode:
[00:00] - Life lessons from 200 episodes
[02:53] - Realizing You Have Your Own Answers
[03:54] - The Importance of Taking a Pause
[04:03] - Incorporating Mindfulness and Meditation
[06:25] - Physical Presence Matters
[07:37] - The Importance of Friendships
[09:33] - Authenticity and Staying True to Yourself
[13:58] - Being of Service
[16:46] - The Power of Love
[17:06] - The Importance of Listening and Presence
[18:15] - Practice of Gratitude
[19:16] - Life Lessons and Regrets
[22:13] - Reflections on the episode and Conclusion
Resources and Links
Weeks of Hope
1st episode
With Marissa G. Franco
With Deborah Hurwitz
If you want to start your Podcast
Podify - Website
Are you experiencing a lack of fulfillment and a disconnection from your actual self as a result of the relentless pursuit of success and social expectations? If so, are you ready to discover the path of authentic self-discovery? If the answer is yes, it's time to listen to this transformative episode!
Key Takeaways
“People have survived great, tragic horrors, and yet they can still be loved and give love and do acts of kindness for others and still stay present. And it never ceases to amaze me.” -Lauren (17:23)
“Stay true to yourself. No more people pleasing or doing what somebody else thinks that you're supposed to be doing.” - Lauren (20:54)
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[00:00:00] Lauren Abrams: Are you a burnt-out overachiever buried in responsibilities? Do you miss laughing with your friends, just laughing from the gut? Do you feel like life's passing you by? If you've been wishing for some kind of shift, you're in the right place. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope, the show where we take you off the hamster wheel by ditching your to-do list for the to-don't list.
[00:00:18] Lauren Abrams: This is where you get to learn how to make that lonely ache vanish, learn self-compassion techniques, and to give yourself grace, I'm Lauren Abrams. And I get to help you feel that magic again, since going through my own dark night of the soul, so you can learn from my experience and the mentors and experts I meet along the way.
[00:00:34] Lauren Abrams: And today we're talking about life lessons. I've taken 200 episodes, the messages of hope that I received in these episodes, and I've compiled them into seven overarching themes that are really life lessons for all of us. I started this podcast wondering why are we here, a soul search, and I told the story about it in the first episode, which I did not want to do.
[00:00:57] Lauren Abrams: I wanted to just interview other people and get their messages. At first, I just did this perfunctory kind of, yeah, okay. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope. And I knew it wasn't good, but I didn't want to tell my story. I'd gone through this dark night of the soul and it was personal and all of that. Then I thought, what will people think? I've learned, that nobody is thinking about me, so finally I just went blah and I invite you to listen It's the first episode people really relate to it because I do I talk about my dark night of the soul and we all go through it. Nobody goes through this life unscathed and when I got through it because the only way through is through I was like, what the hell was that? And I just started wondering what's the meaning of life. Why are we here? And I decided to ask a person a week just that question a much older demographic what have you gleaned from life? Tell me I want to know they say nobody on their deathbed wish they made more money or worked harder. So what have you learned and I was raising my two kids a single mom working running a law practice and being of service in different areas of my life I figured that was doable for me to interview one person a week and I started doing it and people would reveal really personal information to me. And after about two and a half months of doing this, there started being common themes.
And I was like, this is so rich. It's so good. I have to share it. And I thought I would write one of those books where you open it up just randomly somewhere. And you're like, that's just what I needed to hear. And I would call it 52 Weeks of Hope. And then COVID hit and we went on lockdown and I just started podcasting.
[00:02:34] Lauren Abrams: And I could suddenly interview people from anywhere.
[00:02:38] Lauren Abrams: The podcast has certainly evolved over the last 200 weeks in fact, I'm in the middle of a rebrand. I'm thinking now it should be. Radical pause. How do you take that breath? How do you take a pause and listen to your innermost voice?
[00:02:54] Lauren Abrams: That's my seventh message Which is you have your own answers. I should start with that because this is what I learned. Maybe i'll go backwards. That's number seven. You have your own answers. You don't need another self-help half-read dog-eared self-help book or a life coach or another half-use course, you have all your own answers.
[00:03:15] Lauren Abrams: We need to breathe. We need to take those moments to look inside and actually listen to our inner voice and our innermost self or to journal to get to the answer. You can actually just write at the top of a page. What lights me up? What makes me happy? What is it that I'm not seeing? And just get quiet because you know, sometimes it's hardest for us to see our own answers, but we absolutely know what's best for somebody else but you know our own answers are inside.
[00:03:48] Lauren Abrams: We don't have to go and just do another course or half a course or 10th of a course or whatever it is, join some other group online or anything else. Yeah, I see you. I've been there. You're not the only one. So answers emerge in the pause. Taking that breath, you could set a timer for 10 minutes and just concentrate on the in-breath and the out-breath.
[00:04:14] Lauren Abrams: In the 200 weeks since I started this podcast, I've become a meditation teacher, a mindfulness meditation teacher, loving kindness, mindfulness, self-compassion techniques, all of it. If you go on the YouTube channel, I've started because I started teaching. I just finished a six-week course. The people who are in that course, I've put the meditations up on the YouTube channel.
[00:04:35] Lauren Abrams: There's an intro meditation, there's a grounding, there's short ones, just introductory meditations. They're all guided, or you could just set a timer for 10 minutes and just concentrate on the in-breath and the out-breath. Or the space in between the in-breath.
[00:04:52] Lauren Abrams: And the out-breath and just doing that for 10 minutes and asking the universe for the answer and when in doubt, do nothing. And the right answer comes. It just does. Then when you know what it is you want to do, you can go and find the right coach or the right group to join in that space. But there's no reason to stay super busy.
[00:05:17] Lauren Abrams: For me, It took almost a brush with death. I remembered it when I was raising the kids. I was super busy and my doctor called me and she said I needed to go to the hospital and I actually paused and thought, I don't know if I have time to go to the hospital, I have to get to the office.
[00:05:34] Lauren Abrams: I have so much to do, or I had to be in court, whatever it was. I actually considered not going to the hospital. When my own health and life is at stake because I was so busy. And that's when I knew I needed a reset. That was my wake-up call. And it's when I started going on long weekends and having someone watch the kids and just doing a whole reset.
It was my introduction to meditation and all of these techniques. And it's been probably almost, I don't know, close to 20 years. And my life changed. Everything changed. I learned about breath and how our answers are within, and I learned how to laugh again to appreciate the time with my kids and to be with my kids when I'm with them. And when I'm at work, I'm at work. And to put the phone away and just to be absolutely present and just how you really can manifest anything. The sky's the limit.
[00:06:34] Lauren Abrams: So number seven is you have your own answers. You really do. But it does require taking that breath, taking a pause, go out. And I've talked to so many people. I think almost every single guest has said the same thing. It's in the pause. It's taking a minute. When I talked to Billy Saleeby who had Podify if you ever want to start a podcast Podify is they're my producers and everything else. I'll put a link to them in the show notes They're the best and he absolutely agrees to take a walk without any device It's kind of hard because you're so used to having a device At least it is for me. And you want to listen to something, but just taking a walk without any device and noticing everything around you, notice your feet as they lift up and then touch the ground again, it's very meditative and it's a walking meditation.And answers just kind of come. While you don't have a device And if you've been listening I've gone on two silent retreats now, there's each seven days no device no electronics at all no, nothing seven days It's really challenging.
[00:07:37] Lauren Abrams: I've done two seven-day retreats. Now, anyway, that's how we get to our answers. And it's an amazing thing. It's just amazing. Take a walk around the block without a device.
[00:07:46] Lauren Abrams: You'll see the report back. Let me know what you think. Number six, friendships matter. I absolutely love the episode I did on friendships. It's one of my favorites. I actually stalked the professor because her book is so amazing, and I love that episode.Marisa G. Franco if you haven't heard it, she's just amazing. And she talks about how to make friendships as adults, how, why it matters, and why they aren't valued the same as a regular relationship.Nobody asks you about your friendships and friendships are just so important. And so make the calls, check on your friends, keep those friendships going. And if you need new friendships, it's just so important. Strike up new friendships. Go to a dog park if you have a dog or if you like dogs or there's so many ways find whatever it is you like to do and find other people that like to do it also, there are start a group so many of my episodes talk about ways to do that. It's so important and loneliness is it's real. Authentic was the word of the year last year for a reason as long as we are our authentic selves we're going to get friends. It's putting ourselves out there and first to tell you it's not easy, it's so much more comfortable sitting in my house alone I guess reading a book or doing whatever but we are not meant to live in isolation. We just aren't as humans, we are pack animals. So being out amongst others is just so important. So friendships matter whatever you can do to keep those alive, cooking groups, having dinners together, anything playing cards, pickleball seems to be all the rage. Try that, you know, whatever it is, whatever lights you up, it makes you happy. Finding other people to do that with. I mean, I'm big on hiking, seeing the water, being in the woods, hugging a tree together, whatever, which is a good segue. So number seven was you do have your own answers. Number six is friendships matter. Number five, stay true to yourself. To thine own self be true. What lights you up? Not what do other people expect of you? What lights you up? What makes you happy? What brings you meaning? You can think about who brings you meaning. When you think about them, it makes you so happy to think about them. Can you be around those people? Or are you just people-pleasing? Are you doing what other people want you to do? What's expected of you? What you were told you're supposed to be doing Latha Jay her episode. She's so good. She's Amazing. She has a gazillion followers on TikTok and she just helps so many people. Her family expected her to become a doctor a lawyer or nothing. She started going to medical school and she dropped out.
[00:10:39] Lauren Abrams: It wasn't true to herself. It's such a good episode and she has so many tools for you. And she has an amazing journal to work out all of your stuff. So if you haven't heard her episode, she's just so good. And it's a good segue into the next one, which is number four life's in session. This is the only life we have.
[00:10:58] Lauren Abrams: If there's something you really want to do, this is it. This is your time. It's right now. If there's something that you've always wanted to do, do it. No one's paying that much attention to you. If you're worried about what other people think, no one's thinking about you. I've never thought of a diplomatic way to say that, but really, when I started my podcast, I thought, what are people going to think? No, one's thinking about me. Nobody said, who are you to start a podcast? Who do you think you are? I thought they'd say that, but not one person ever said that to me. Maybe they thought it, but nobody's ever said it to me. And guess what? Nobody in my family listens to this. I mean, my husband does cause you know, he listens, but nobody else in my family listens to this. So I thought when I would talk about my family, I would be horrified that nobody listens, nobody in our family.
[00:11:47] Lauren Abrams: If you ever want to start a podcast, which by the way, if you do once a month, we have an accountability group for people that want to start podcasts. So if you'd like to join, just let me know. We meet up on Zoom once a month. And because at this point, I feel like an expert. Oh, you should use these people and do this and listen to this one and use this because I have read everything. I love everything about podcasting. When I started this, I knew nothing about podcasting. I didn't even listen to podcasts. Maybe Brene Brown once in a while and some Michelle Obama, who I don't even know if she has one anymore. But anyway, that was it.
[00:12:22] Lauren Abrams: Yeah, that was my experience with podcasting. I knew nothing. Now you have everything to do with podcasting. So I now want to give back. And so we just meet on Zoom once a month. So, if you want to do that, you should join us. And if there's something else you want to do just be accountable because I believe so much in accountability partners. So that's what we do. We stay accountable till the next time we meet we say what we're going to have done and by the next time we meet. Yeah, it's a great group on Zoom. It's a very safe space. But life is in session. And Deborah Hurwitz, episode. She talks about perfectionism versus procrastination, being the flip side of the same coin, and that a lot of people don't start what they really want to do, because if they can't do it perfectly, they won't start.
[00:13:13] Lauren Abrams: I've never been a perfectionist. I don't think. Other people may disagree and think that I am. I'm not. I know I'm not, but I'm just happy to get things done. And I like to wrestle with that in my brain. I'm not sure. It's a really good episode. And she helps people through that hurdle. So if you're somebody who doesn't want to start until you could do a perfect. Just know you could never do anything perfectly. It's a fact of nature that you can't. And so just do it like this is your time right now. And if God has put an idea or the universe or whatever, I don't want to turn you away from the G word. But if the universe and energy have put this idea in your head, it's for a reason.Angela Manuel Davis always says, if you can see it, you can be it. And she does a whole very uplifting thing Monologue diatribe. I have one of the chapters for my book on the website from when I got to interview her and I will interview her for the podcast anyway. She's super motivational. So yeah, there's a reason that you can see that vision and you are meant to do that and nobody can do it the way you can do it We all have our unique handprint. There's a reason that that is in you. So your time's now, and that's number four, life's in session.
[00:14:32] Lauren Abrams: Number three, whatever it is your call, feel called to do, number two, and to me, this goes along with number one. Number two is being of service. We are here to be of service to others. We are not here to live in isolation. If you don't feel good, if you're feeling depressed, lonely, just blah. go help someone. It may seem counterintuitive because you're the one not feeling well. 100 percent of the time when I go help someone else, 100 percent of the time, I feel better. If I go and feed the homeless, if I go and just whatever it is, if I go pick up trash with others, it's very much with others. There are so many places to be of service in the world. If I go and help others, I feel better. I went on a trip with my temple. I was one of the people with a clipboard for a cause I believed in and I did not have time to do it., I'll just start with, I didn't have time to do it, but I knew I would be in the community. And that's something I believe in. And I talk about it a lot. We must be in community, the blue zones where people live the longest, the happiest and the healthiest, which why do you want to live a long time. If you're not happy and healthy, it is because of community people. We need to live. We are not meant to be isolated.
[00:15:55] Lauren Abrams: Texting is not the same. We need to actually talk to each other. We need to hug. We need to be together. And when we're of service to others, we're in a community, we help each other. And so that's it. And coming from a place of service is always going to make you feel better always. There's just no exception. So that's why I went and helped out and stood with my little clipboard and had people say mean things to me. And I think I got the mean things said to me because I just came from my seven-day retreat. So I got the most meanness because I had no idea. People aren't usually hating on me, but that happened to me that day.
[00:16:34] Lauren Abrams: And yeah, so whatever. I guess. It wasn't me. So being of service and when I was going individually during that period before the lockdown, I was told that also and I was also told you young people need to put down your phones and be with each other. I just like being called a young person. So I thought I'd throw that in.
[00:16:56] Lauren Abrams: And the number one thing I have learned is love, which is not a surprise. We are here to love each other. We need love and we need to be loved and to give love. So we need love. We need to give love. We need to do acts of love, which is being of service, which is why I think one and two, which is being love, giving love, acts of kindness, all of it. I think they go hand in hand. People have survived great tragic horrors. And yet they can still be loved and give love and do acts of kindness for others and still stay present and it never ceases to amaze me they've had to do work they've done plenty of work on themselves and yet here they are. It takes bravery.
[00:17:49] Lauren Abrams: It takes all kinds of things and yet they are there helping others so it's about I think listening should be in there also nobody talked about it. But to me, just listening and being present for someone else. I was taught we have one mouth and two ears for a reason. We need to listen twice as much as we should be talking.
[00:18:12] Lauren Abrams: And so just being there and being a presence for someone else is an act of service and it's an act of love. So I'm curious what you think messages would be to me. This is what I've received from 200 guests. In my 200 episodes, I need to express my gratitude to me. I do a daily gratitude practice I've been doing it every day for over 14 years with someone else I've practised gratitude for oh my gosh 38 years probably So yeah, just about 38 years I've been grateful but Nancy and I have been exchanging gratitude lists. She'll correct me on this, but she and Scott are my biggest, biggest supporters. They listen to every episode and we exchange our gratitude lists every day. Nancy and I, and now with plenty of others, a lot of others, but she does hers at night. I do mine in the morning. And it's really a great practice.
[00:19:11] Lauren Abrams: It raises our vibrational frequency. And we stay in contact, even if we're traveling or no matter what's going on. And I cannot stress that enough. Also, if you're mad at somebody, write a gratitude list to them. Write down everything you're grateful for about them. It is an amazing thing because you won't be mad at them anymore.
[00:19:30] Lauren Abrams: I'm going to tell you the biggest regrets of dying again because I think that they correspond so much with the messages. From, the different guests and the lessons gleaned wishing you live a life true to yourself instead of the life others expected of you wishing you didn't work so hard. Nobody ever died I mean nobody on their deathbed ever wished they worked harder or made more money can't take it with you. Wishing you had the courage to express your true feelings and for me I don't know if you've listened that much but I didn't grow up talking about my feelings So sometimes I still to this day i'll be like googling feelings chart and be like that's what i'm feeling I'm much more i'm much better these days at talking about how I feel Wishing you stay in touch with your friends and wishing you let yourself be happier.
[00:20:25] Lauren Abrams: So lessons gleaned and life lessons for you are I'll go in order this time. Number one love, two being of service three, whatever you feel called here to do, there's a reason you feel called to do it. Number four, life's in session. This is now if you feel whatever you feel called to do, go for it, do it. There's a reason that you feel called to do it. This is your time. Number five, stay true to yourself. No more people pleasing or doing what somebody else thinks that you're supposed to be doing. [00:21:00] Number six, friendships matter. Number seven, you have your own answers. And I'm going to add about listening. And I want to talk about gratitude because I am so grateful to you for listening to 52 Weeks of Hope for 200 episodes. And like I said, I'm in the middle of a rebrand. I kind of like radical recharge because it's about recharging your life, taking that breath and getting on the floor, laughing with your kids. Taking the time out and taking that breath and going within and seeing what's right for you. I thought radical pause, but there's already podcasts with that. So if you want to join me for the accountability. For whatever it is that you want to do, starting a podcast, writing your book, getting a partner and taking the steps to that. I manifested Scott. He's pretty great. Just meet up with us once a month. I'd love to have you join us. You can find me at 52weeksofhope. com, the number 52weeksofhope. com and join the community and get on the email list and know everything that's happening. Again, I am so grateful that you've been listening.
[00:22:20] Lauren Abrams: If there's any topics in particular that you would really like to hear, I would love to hear from you. I'd love to know which episodes you like and what you'd like to hear more of.
I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and take with you the messages of gratitude, authenticity, and connection. Such great messages to take into your week ahead. Be sure to tune in next week for another empowering episode all about how to live authentically, abundantly, and how to simply feel better. It's also about embracing the lessons I talked about this week and growing from your life's journey. You're going to love next week's episode. It's so good. I just love the guests.
[00:22:59] Lauren Abrams: [00:23:00] Be sure to share this episode with your friends and to rate and review the podcast so more people feel less alone in the overwhelm and to remember the pause. Answers emerge in the pause and instead of adding to your to-do list, how about a to-don't list? Don't forget to go to the website at 52weeksofhope.com Until next week, I'm Lauren Abrams. I really appreciate you. Thanks for listening.