Heal Your Past Traumas & Create Your Best Life Now with Mary Sise
Are you ready to finally get rid of your negative beliefs, heal your traumas and stop yourself from dissociating when you’re in uncomfortable situations? Listen as Mary Sise helps you step in and begin owning the powerful creator who lives within! It’s time to put away all of those limiting beliefs keeping you from living your calling.
“Every energy is in you, it's just that some energies are more hidden or dormant.” – (14:27), Mary
Understanding your energy helps you live a richer, fuller life. Maybe you need to go back and deal with past traumas, change your routine, or learn to balance your energy. Whatever the case may be, you’ve got this and Mary shows you how in this episode!
“When you get something like cancer, you can’t just change your shoes, you have to change your pattern.” – (15:27), Mary
If you’ve been wondering about energy and how it relates to your relationships or your work or your body, this episode is definitely for you! Tune in and find out how to harness your energy in a positive way, activate hope, all while creating the life you deserve!
“The issue now for most people is that they don’t live in a war zone, but it feels like it’s always going down because you weren’t safe when they were little.” – (21:08), Mary
In this episode:
(1:19) – The concept of energy and how it effects you.
(4:15) – How tapping helps you reduce trauma.
(13:04) – Bringing your feminine side back.
(14:45) – Why you need healthy, balanced, and coherent energy.
(15:21) – How cancer is an energy changer.
(19:40) – How to cure immune disorders.
(21:26) – Why tapping helps when you can’t meditate.
(23:21) – Explaining soul weaving.
(23:56) – There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s what happened.
(25:00) – The high vibrating energy of hope.
(26:08) – Seeing someone come through what you’re going through activates hope.
(26:50) – Why there’s power in seeing others who have overcome what you’re going through.
(27:09) – How and why it is necessary to cultivate hope.
(30:16) – The power of leadership.
(30:44) – Hope without action and the importance of scanning hope.
(33:17) – The lesson of the heart that breaks.
(34:47) – How to be responsible for your own energy.
Resources and Links
52 Weeks of Hope
Mary Sise
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[00:00:00] Mary: When I, years ago, probably 15 years ago, I studied with a Chinese master and he had a saying. He said, when you get something like cancer, he said, you can't just change your shoes. You have to change your path. And so when I got this diagnosis, I remembered his words came back to me, haunt me and thinking, you know, it's like you can make a little adjustment.
[00:00:21] You have to shift the energy that is out of here, out of balance. And we could say out of coherence. And, and again, I'm not saying you don't do medical things. I did some medical things too, but I really had to look at the emotional and the energetic component of this. That's how it shifted. And it wasn't just a little shift. So for me, I'm just not the same person almost five years.
[00:00:45] Lauren: Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope. This is where you get to hear how to feel happy, balanced, and worthwhile. How to make that lonely ache vanish and feel empowered, confident, and secure. I'm Lauren Abrams, and I get to help you feel that magic again since going through my own dark night of the soul, by chatting with incredible leaders, healers, and elders, who give us their message of hope after overcoming challenges of their own.
[00:01:05] Today, we're talking to the leading voice in energy psychology and renowned international speaker, Mary Sise. Are you ready to finally get rid of all those negative beliefs, heal your past traumas, and stop yourself from disassociating when you're in uncomfortable situations? Mary's here to help you step into the powerful creator you are to do away with those limiting beliefs that keep you small and afraid to get your hopes up. She's here to show you how to create with all the energy within you, and to tell you about the energy of hope. Mary is the next level soul weaver. Welcome to 52 Weeks of Hope, Mary Sise.
[00:01:40] Mary: I just want to make sure you just don't have me for that elder role, like, you know, the elder.
[00:01:45] Lauren: No, no, no. Absolutely not. No, no, no. Yeah. Absolutely not. No. And I have so many questions, but I thought before we get into the energy of love and soul weaver and all the other questions that I have, I thought it would be best for you to explain what an energy psychologist is.
[00:02:02] Mary: Okay, sure. So everybody knows what a psychologist is doing, and I'm not a psychologist, I'm a social worker, so, but energy psychology is a field of psychology or, or therapy, whatever you want to call it, coaching, a lot of coaches use it, in which we're using the energy systems of the body. For psychological problems. So it'd be like the meridian systems.
[00:02:25] So your body, while they all think we're solid and you know, this is who I am. Really, if you looked at you under an electron microscope, you would see that you're totally energy. And in the Eastern systems of health and wellness, they talk about things like chakras or in, uh, for example, in the more in the Vedic teaching.
[00:02:49] They'll have chakras, which those of you who do yoga, you know that they're like big vortexes of energy in different parts of the body. Most of the time people will talk about seven chakras, but there's many more than that. So you have your seven major chakras. And then in the Chinese system of medicine, they have what they call meridians in India.
[00:03:08] They would call that navis. They have a name for that too. It's similar. The meridians transport energy through the body, kind of like you would think train tracks. And then the shoppers are like Grand Central Station, big power center. And you can tap into them for psychological problems. And that was discovered in the 80s.
[00:03:27] Or at least in the U.S. in the 80s, you know, like it's really a thousand years, several thousand years old. So it's not really new age, like everybody thinks it is. But it's been around for a long time.
[00:03:38] Lauren: Yeah, and you use the word tapping and I know you have been tapping and teaching tapping for decades. Do you want to talk about tapping and how long you've been doing it and I know you teach it and so on?
[00:03:49] Mary: So, in the late 90s, I was, uh, working at, uh, working as a social worker. I worked at a, you know, a huge HMO. And had a very large trauma caseload. And I found that talking about their traumas was really making them way worse.
[00:04:04] They had a lot more symptoms. Now they were having more panic attacks or more suicidal ideation, cardiac, all sorts of things. And all I could think of was, you know, it's like that commercial. I'm saying that's not right. That's not right. Like something was like really, really wrong. And I began to investigate and hear about therapies.
[00:04:25] Uh, some used eye movements that can, that I heard, learned about first and got trained in that. And then this other one called, now they call it EFT, most people call it EFT or Tapping, but originally it was called TRT and it was created by Roger Callion, where you could tap on like wings, like meridian points, like on a meridian, on your own face, on your body, and do some eye movements.
[00:04:49] And what began to happen for my clients is their anxiety went down, their panic went down, the terror in them went down, and we could process the trauma and not make them worse. And it was miraculous. Like, I was like a crazy person when I first heard it. I always comment on like a board again or something.
[00:05:07] You know, like, Oh, my God, you won't believe just what happened in there. I wanted all my, my colleagues to do it. So I went and I trained and I started training people like you gotta do this thing.
[00:05:16] Lauren: And did it work for other people with their patients or was it only with you, with your patients?
[00:05:22] Mary: Oh no, everybody I trained and they started doing it. You couldn't believe it. In fact, one of the psychiatrists where I was, I said to one of his patients, I'm talking about, we go, we don't always know what she's doing in there, but her people all get better. So we just, I'll leave her alone. What do you think I'm doing, Carol? Like Jesus, I'm talking about their trauma, I'm talking about their anxiety, activating it.
[00:05:45] And then I tap on these meridians and use some eye movements. And now we know more of what, what it is. It's been 20 years, we've seen pictures of rain before and after we know the biggest nervous and the body and therapy is like so important and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but 20 years, some odd years ago, we knew nothing.
[00:06:05] I just don't work. I didn't really care how it worked. To be honest with you. I just, I just, oh my God, my people are getting better. They're not having panic attacks, they're not having flashbacks, they're not having nightmares. And they got their lives back. So I was kind of really a proponent. Of it really early on and, uh, I continue to do that, you know, and I'm, um, I like to talk.
[00:06:31] Lauren: Yeah, no, no, that's great. And then you have a book, wait, wait, I don't want to get it wrong. That is it, tapping during the pandemic?
[00:06:37] Mary: Yeah. And so when the pen, I have a book we wrote in with my co-author, Sheila Bender, and we wrote that in 2007 called The Energy of Belief because I began to realize that it's not, it's what, it's not just thoughts people have.
[00:06:51] What do they really believe? And that you could use tapping to take down a negative belief or a limiting belief, as you call it. And then you could install the belief you really wish somebody told you, like if you didn't grow up in your house, okay? Like, you know, that, like, if you do money, like, you know, money doesn't grow on trees.
[00:07:08] Who do you think you are? You don't, if you grew up when I grew up and, and you could put in these beliefs, like, I am abundant, things like that. And all of a sudden people's lives would change and they were creating money or whenever I'm worthless. Oh, I'm worthy, you know? So you could begin to change beliefs for people and then their lives really change. So we wrote that book. We're actually republishing it.
[00:07:35] Lauren: But you say you're republishing that one. So what did you change between 2007 and that book? And what, with what speak the book that's coming out now?
[00:07:45] Mary: Yes, we added some things to it, but most importantly, when we originally wrote that book, we use the energy psychology method of touch and read, which is instead of tapping on the meridians, you would take breath at that.
[00:07:56] And it was one of the different methods. Several of my clients heard that because tapping reminded them of being hit as children or they were triggered by it or was too agitated. So we use that and my colleague, she was one of the people who created that method and she wanted to use that method. I didn't care about method.
[00:08:14] I just wanted to write a book on these. So that's how that came going. So we've upgraded it now to include more things about tapping, how to do it. Some of the advances and the changes that have been made in the last, that was written like 13 years ago and add some things. So it's, it's changed like that.
[00:08:30] And then when the pandemic happens, and I would watch people like totally freaking out, you know, because when I think about the pandemic, it kind of has everybody's issue in it. You know, you got a fear of death, that's in there. You got a fear of your kids dying, that's in there. You got a fear of losing your money, that's in the pandemic.
[00:08:46] You got a fear that like you don't control life, that's in there. Like everybody's, like everybody's issue was in that pandemic. People were really flipping out and they didn't understand why they felt bad. They're yelling at their kids. They don't, they're just unpredictability. Like it was everything. And I was watching that happen.
[00:09:05] And I, and so I decided as a service to the world to write this very simple ebook and donate all the money that you have. I don't care. I just want people to know how they could share. And then I started running this program called Tapping Tuesdays at two o'clock. People would come from all over the world and it's great.
[00:09:24] So they, it was like on a Zoom meeting and oh my God, we had so much fun. It's really fun. It, we laugh. I work with one or two people, everybody gets a healing and I keep doing it. Cause I'm like, you can wait too much fun. The other day we were working on somebody who didn't want to be like her mother when she grew up.
[00:09:41] And you know, so like, it's just fun stuff. Not bother. I don't get somebody's panic or I'm going to be your, whatever it is. It's just, it's just. And everybody gets a healing. It's shocking. People love it.
[00:09:54] Lauren: That's so great. And I love that you've, I love that you've kept it going. And then one thing, and I've actually talked to friends without your name, but just saying, Oh, you might want to be a little softer and tap into your feminine energy.
[00:10:07] And I love how you got there. Well, I don't love how you got there at all, but I love that. No, no, no, no, no. I don't. And I don't wish this on anyone at all. But whenever I just think of you as, you know, you definitely have a soft side and you have that softness, but how you got there is kind of awful. And you think, oh, healers, they don't get sick. We, we heal and everything. And it's a interesting story. So I'll let you go ahead and take it from there and talk about that.
[00:10:36] Mary: Okay. So. You know, I've been a therapist for a long time and I'm a really good therapist, I'm really good, my people get better, like, you know, and I actually was, at the time, in 2016, I was running a healers program and it was all about energy healing and, and, you know, I work with a living master, Her Holiness Sai Ma is my master, and, you know, I'm writing this program for her and you create reality and all that, blah, blah, sounds great when you're having a good day, but things aren't working out, it's not so great.
[00:11:08] So anyway, I, I, I'm telling you, it was a J and a man, I can tell you exactly what it was, like any trauma. And next I went for a mammogram and found out that I had the breast cancer diagnosed and I was shocked. I mean, like, come on, I meditate, I tap, I'm not saying I always eat healthy, but like, you know, I'm like relatively healthy and a good attitude, laugh a lot, but like, what the heck is this? I was so upset. It was like, so like, and yet I could, I couldn't blame anybody else. Cause you know, you create your own reality. Now I had to eat my words. Practically.
[00:11:47] Lauren: Yeah, you're a healer.
[00:11:51] Mary: Not only that. I pray, healed. Like what the heck? You're the healer's healer. Yeah. The healer for healers. Yeah. And here I am with this diagnosis. I was like, so mad. But anyway, long, very long story short.
[00:12:05] Lauren: I love that I know you're on the other side of this.
[00:12:07] Mary: Exactly. I love that I'm on the other side of this. Yeah, right. The bottom line is, I went to a program where I was with, with Simon, it's an amazing program called Profound Healing.
[00:12:18] And when you're in profound feeling, it's very intense and there's, you know, it's hard. It's really hard. So same night had me come up on the, on the carpet. You go on the carpet to do your work. It's like, anyway, she said to me, can she look this look that only she can give because she sees right through you can't hide.
[00:12:38] And she said to me, Mary, what did you do with your feminine, your feminine self when you were 17? And I was like, all MJ should nail this right on the head. So I picked somebody to be the feminine me, and I brought her up to the carpet, I pushed her to the ground, I put my foot on her back, and, like, in other words, I squished her.
[00:13:03] Like, she was not coming out. She was not. I was gonna go to college, I was gonna do this, I was gonna do that, I was, you know, like no way. And I was, it was scary to be a girl a little bit, you know, it was like, you know, ugh. So I just, you know, and I always love to be in charge and the boss and everything else, but I had this very powerful, really not, you know, like very powerful, masculine energy, like to get it done, do it, go to, you know, and, and don't mess with me kind of attitude.
[00:13:35] Anyway, and by my board of eminence, I was so squished. And then I looked at Simon and she looked at me and she said, and what do you intend to do now. And I knew, man, I gotta get my, I have to bring this energy back to me. And that was some of the, you know, some of the beginnings of this importance of looking how we really suppress ourselves.
[00:13:56] For some people it's their anger, for some people it's their vulnerability, like that was mine. And so, what I did was I took my foot off her back to start, and I stood this part of me up, and I, started speaking to her, it just burst into tears and then brought that energy back. But it was after that, then I really had to train myself, like how to walk a little slower, how to maybe not push so much, like how to be more vulnerable, like, you know, you go through any kind of treatment, you know, like cancer, you have to be vulnerable, man, you are like, you are like, people have to help you and like, I had to like, stop.
[00:14:34] My bubblers thing would have been, I got this, I got this. I got it. Oh, no way. Sure. I got, you know, like, she was like, I really give it up. And, and everything changed. Everything shifted. The energy came back and my, I was much more in balance, masculine, feminine. I had to work it. I'm not saying it was like overnight.
[00:14:54] Lauren: Mary's wearing a pink watch for anybody who does.
[00:14:57] Mary: Exactly. People definitely had to change my outfit. Everything. Yeah. And not in a big way. It was more change actually happened. It, it, it as the energy it, well, let say it this way, every energy is in you. It just, some energies are more dormant and that energy went dormant on me, like I squished them down.
[00:15:18] And so I had to like water it like a flower, like, and then what began to happen is, Everything came into balance and the energy into coherence. That's how you're healthy. When your energy is balanced and coherent.
[00:15:31] Lauren: Yeah, I love that. I always, yeah, I know. And I love it. And to me, I don't know you then, but I know that you're softer.
[00:15:39] Mary: Oh yeah. If you talk to anybody who knows me that would tell you that. Like, you know, like almost like, who are you? What have you done with yourself? But I'm, I was, I think we can add to you when I, years ago, probably 15 years ago, I studied with a Chinese master and he had a saying, he said, when you get something like cancer, he said, you can't just change your shoes, you have to change your path.
[00:16:04] And so when I got this diagnosis, I remembered his words came back to me, taught me and thinking, you know, it's like, you can make a little adjustment. You have to shift the energy that is out of here, out of balance. And we could say out of coherent. And, and again, I'm not saying you don't, don't do medical things.
[00:16:21] I did some medical things too, but I really had to look at the emotional and the energetic component of this. That's how it shifted. So, yeah. And it wasn't just a little shift. So for me, I like, I'm just not the same person almost five years.
[00:16:36] Lauren: And now you've got a lot of kids and grandkids, your husband. So do, do they know they must notice they may?
[00:16:45] Mary: Oh yeah. He's much happier with that. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The marriage, everything. I mean, my marriage was strong. I've been married 45 years. So great. Let's face it. That's a long time. Yes. And, uh, uh, it was always really super good. But when this all shifted and I had left a little bit, not be so know it all, everything shifted.
[00:17:10] It's been, it's just, it's beautiful, our relationship. And, and it's really funny because you don't even know it's missing when it's missing. You know, you just kind of think that's who you are, the way you are. There were many things about my know it all ness, I don't know about that, but that he, that he liked, or, or my confidence.
[00:17:26] I mean, I'm super confident, super powerful, that there were parts about that that he liked, but I'm sure he didn't like my know it all ness, but I, I don't know if anybody does. Well, my thinking, I know it all, it's always being right, thinking you're always right. That was not chicanopular, I gotta say. Everything's shipped in and swapped in, really soft. And actually, I enjoy it.
[00:17:53] Lauren: It's easier. Yeah, it is nice. I was just telling a friend that to let her feminine side in, it's a lot easier to date. Guys don't want to date another dude if they're straight.
[00:18:07] Mary: For some of us, you have to let your more masculine side, you know, versus you're always people creature.
[00:18:11] You're always, you know, like can't do anything, the baby of the family. Like I was, I'm wearing 12 kids, I'm not the oldest girl. So I always tell people, I've been bossing people around since I was like three. You know, like I knew what was best, I blah, blah, blah, and because I was older, they thought I knew something.
[00:18:28] Yeah, right. The baby in the family. You know, then you may need to get your power back. You need to get your voice back, maybe. I didn't need my voice back. I had a lot of that. And that's fine. That didn't change. This is softer.
[00:18:44] Lauren: That's so funny. Now, you had spoken before about people that have an immune disorder, how it's a first chakra and, you know, don't worry, and, and there's things that they could do. And I just, I, I found that fascinating for a couple of friends of mine. Could you talk about that for a second?
[00:19:02] Mary: Yeah, usually my experience, most of my experience, or if you do, again, read up on energy medicine and how, how they look at things energetically. So people in my experience, especially I can speak, who have immune system, immune system is generally your first chakra.
[00:19:20] Your first chakra is, which is down on the base of your spine. You just never really felt safe in the world. So maybe there was a lot of unpredictability in your house. Maybe there was violence in your house. Maybe mom left or left and come back. And then she left again or whatever. We all grow up in situations that are kind of nutty down here.
[00:19:40] But anyway, but what happens is you always stay on hyper alert. You're always, you're really sensitive to other people's energies. You're really trying to please, or you're like scared all the time. Or maybe your reaction is to overdo or whatever, but you really. You never really felt safe. So your immune system is working.
[00:19:59] It's like, who's the invader? Who's coming? It's working all the time. And then eventually, as you get older, it just gives up. It just, like, can't do it anymore. And so that's when you'll see these immune disorders. That's when you'll see your, uh, multiple sclerosis. You'll see fibromyalgia, things like that.
[00:20:20] And so the way to heal that is you really have to go back a little bit and look at what happened then. Bring that part of you back, your child, you're safe now. You have to be in a safe place. You cannot do any of this work if you're not safe now. And some of you, one of the best gifts you can give yourself is not get off on beating up on yourself.
[00:20:40] Because you're not even safe with you. So those people who are really hard on themselves, that serves you as a cure to help you push yourself. It's just not serving you now because you can't fully realize and fully be here. And then you want to look at what's scary, really scary things happen and you can use the tapping to quiet down your nervousness to come fully in and fully embody and be fully here on planet earth.
[00:21:07] Lauren: No, that's so good. Do you meditate every day? Do you have practices that you do every single day or in the morning or anything?
[00:21:13] Mary: No, no, no. Every day. I always meditate. Every day. That is, you know. I can be there. Now, those of you who have trauma, you'll find that when you sit to meditate, you can't do it. So all the trauma comes up and you get real agitated.
[00:21:27] So don't worry about that. That's okay. I understand. But what you want to do, I would do tapping then when you try to meditate or try to read what you're really trying to do is reprogram your, your system so that it knows it's safe now. You're safe now. That time is over. Now, you're living in a war zone, don't, I don't know, maybe you meditate there too.
[00:21:48] I don't know, but like, more you have to be alert. But the issue now for most people, they don't live in a war zone, but except it just feels like it's always going on, like you can't settle down. Because it wasn't safe when you were little. That make sense? So you're a mess. If you're, uh, if you have a hard time meditating, you get agitated.
[00:22:07] Your mind don't beat up on yourself. Just try doing the tapping and there's so many easy ways you can do it. Or, you know, as I said, come on Tapping Tuesdays, I'll teach it to you and then do that all the time. You'll begin to reset your, your whole nervous system using that.
[00:22:24] Lauren: Yeah, no, that's so good. Okay. So can you talk about the soul weaving a little bit?
[00:22:29] Mary: Well, weaving is something that I began to do. Well, it's because I realized that just like myself, that's a perfect example. So me being, it's an aspect of me that I split off. And I would be doing this for years and years and years, long before my old stunt breast cancer. Where she stopped. Yeah. I sure it sounded, let's say they had a bout of that.
[00:22:52] That's how I joke about me, but anyway, but you know, the last 20 years, what I would find with work with people who have been in tough situation. That they would split themselves off. It's almost like, think of like soldiers going up a hill. It's like, you got to leave a man behind because you have to live in this family.
[00:23:13] You have to get up the next morning. You have to like go to school the next day or do all these things. And yet, like, you know, you're just terrified out of your wits last night, or you're afraid of anger or whatever you're, you just split yourself off. And so what begins to happen is in present time, somebody pushes your button.
[00:23:33] And it goes back to where you left a soldier behind. Only you don't realize that people don't put two and two together. They think, oh, I just got to get these people to be nice to me, or trying to get this guy to behave, and blah, blah, blah. Good luck. Good luck with that. So, what you want, what I found is if we go back and we get that part of you, and we bring that part to today, and then I'll use tapping, there's many other energy things I use for it, but tapping is the easiest one.
[00:24:03] And we can quiet the body down and then that part, like, just like this split off part of myself, she realized it's safe to be, to be vulnerable. Today it is. It wasn't back then, right? But today it is. And so you reprogram yourself. Now you can reprogram yourself. Yeah. And so it's really like to me about real aspects of you all over your place that you've left behind all over.
[00:24:31] Lauren: Yeah. Do you have a message of hope that you'd want to give?
[00:24:33] Mary: The biggest message of hope I would say to everybody, there's nothing wrong with you at all. It's what happens. And there's nothing in my experience, and I work with thousands of people, that is untreatable. So, but you have to do the work, in my experience, it's not about talking to this.
[00:24:54] Talking can often make you worse, especially with trauma. What happens is you light up those neuro paths, the trauma laws, and then you get to this panic point and you just wanna like jump outta your skin associate or jump out of the window and off yourself. But the, if your saying, why is your limb system down?
[00:25:13] And you make the connection one, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not crazy. It's what happened to you that was crazy or that was our shape, or it was too much for a little kid. So to find somebody who does more energy psychology work to, to work with your stuff because you can, I've seen all sorts of things, all sorts of things.
[00:25:36] Lauren: That's so, no, that is so good. Now you've talked before about the energy of hope.
[00:25:42] Mary: Every energy is in you. There's no, nobody can put something really in you kind of thing. It's, it's already in which even because you know, we have the teaching, the universe is within you, the kingdom of heaven, everything's in you.
[00:25:55] You're not. It's not like an atom. The only thing is it's dormant for a lot of people. It got squished. You know, so like if you're a little kid, like, you know, don't get your hopes up or, you know, dad was unpredictable we're going to go to the park this weekend but dad got drunk we didn't go anywhere. You know, it's like, and you have this connection in the brain that the more I've got my hopes up, the bigger the fall.
[00:26:20] It felt that way for a lot of people, so I'm not going to minimize what you went through. You're a hopeless fool. Like, sometimes people think they're hopeless. Okay. And what that is, is the energy of hope isn't activated in them. So one of the ways we serve people is if, like, for example, if, if you've had breast cancer, like I have, and you come and see me and I am very hopeful about breast cancer or about anything.
[00:26:46] Okay. It activates the hope that's in you. Like you've seen somebody do it. Like if she can do it, maybe I can do it, you know? And so it activates hope. And that's really a gift we can give to each other is like, you know, it's when you're, when you're not feeling very hopeful, don't go to one of your friends who has some horror story about that, you know?
[00:27:09] It's like, you know, it's like, you have babies, right? And you know, if you, somebody finds out you're pregnant and they tell you their horrid birth story, that is not helpful, okay? Like, everybody's got a story and then they traumatize you by telling you that. You know, you want to go to people who have beautiful birth stories and everything all worked out and they, you know, you can, they can do it, you can do it. There is power in seeing someone who's done it.
[00:27:34] Lauren: Yeah, absolutely. You want to go to the person that's done it before you, been through it and gets through it.
[00:27:41] Mary: That’s where the hope is. That's like, that's what, that's when, but again, they're not giving you hope. They're just activating. They're, they're lighting up, the hope energy that's in you and then you have to cultivate it.
[00:27:51] Meaning reading books about anybody. There's, you know, people have cured things for themselves. People who maybe had an autistic son. And this is how they got through it. I was talking to my daughter. She, uh, this weekend and she was, there's a doctor. She worked, there was a really bad accident and her three year old was killed or eventually he was killed.
[00:28:14] He died. And her other one, the other daughter, I don't know whether older or younger, she was really sick. She broke some bones and things like that. How do you come back from that? And yet this woman is teaching on it, has healed much of it and has just a whole new way of speaking on it. Do you know how, how important that is and how much you're going to be able to serve others, having gone through that?
[00:28:43] Lauren: So, yeah, I, I, I just, uh, the episode a couple of weeks ago with JJ Duncan, she's the executive producer of, uh, Project Runway, she just lost her 11 year old son. And yet she talked about, she lives in joy for him. I mean, she, she still has a wife and a daughter too, but you know, she talks about living in joy and there's really like, it's an incredible episode.
[00:29:08] She's a storyteller. It's what she is and does. So it's, it helps make the episode that much. You think, oh my God, I can't listen to this, but it's so enjoyable, which sounds weird, but it's actually an amazing episode and she's somebody who's been through it.
[00:29:22] Mary: Yeah, like how, like, you know, it's not like it's what you want to be doing, but I haven't been through it. When you've gone through something, then you can, you have the potential and you have three wheel down here. Frankly, I think that's a design flaw that nobody asked me that you have three-wheel here. So you can use it and then as something, you know, first you have to kill yourself. Man, then you have the capacity to inspire, meaning you're in spirit and be inspiring, inspire others.
[00:29:52] It's a huge power, a huge service, and you know, it makes, it makes meaning out of like this meaningless crazy planet we're on right now.
[00:30:03] Lauren: Well that's how this all started. Me trying to find meaning. It was, it started as my own personal selfish quest. It wasn't selfish at the time. I was just like, Oh my God, why are we here?
[00:30:13] Yeah. Yeah. Um, And it was all what I was learning and everything was just so rich and incredible. I had to share it. I mean, it's just, and it's all about community and that we're not meant to be in this life alone. We're meant to do this together. So it's just great. So is there a question that I should have asked you that everyone asks you and you're like, Lauren, you should have asked me this.
[00:30:39] Why didn't you ask? I mean, I'm here. I am. I do this work. Everybody always says. Okay, Mary. Uh, and I didn't know. I think you're a good question asker all those years.
[00:30:53] Mary: The power of leadership. Let's talk about, like, one of the main roles for me for someone who's in a leadership role. Okay. Like, what you're choosing to do here is that you have the capacity to the vision and you have the highest amount of hope that we're going to get there.
[00:31:12] Okay. Like you can't go into doubt if you're going to lead her, you're going to, you know, you think about people having to go in battle or something, well you better hope like hell we're getting out of this thing alive. And you can't, you know, don't give up on hope it's such an important quality, but hope without action is folly.
[00:31:30] I mean that's, you really, you want to stay in the energy of hope, because that will open you up to new possibilities for action. Okay. And when you take action from a high state, like hope versus despair, when you, you take an action from despair or a lower frequency energy and my network, like you'd like, it usually doesn't work because the wrong energy, if you want to find a path out of something, you want to raise your frequency as high as you can.
[00:32:01] And hope is a high, it is relatively high frequency and beats despair, certainly. And then an idea will come to you. Then you take that action. Like, when you were going through whatever you were going through, did you find, like, as you, as you, all of a sudden an idea would come to you. And it was the right thing.
[00:32:20] Lauren: Did you find that at all for you or no?
[00:32:21] Mary: Yeah, well, what, what did it for me was I was actually in a spinning class with Angela, the biggest motivator ever. Angela's spinning class where she's like, I don't know who I'm talking to right now, but somebody needs to hear this. And I don't know what she said, but she's Angela.
[00:32:37] And she said something that activated something in me and it just changed. Yeah. So it did what it needed to. I was, you know, in the back, in the dark with the music blasting, listening to her and crying. It did what it needed to and I knew I'd get through, which I knew I'd get through. The only way through is through.
[00:32:55] Yeah. And we keep going. And that's where you get like the inspiration to put one foot in front of the other. That's the power of like, of like hope. And don't think you're not going to go through those moments. Like you're saying.
[00:33:07] Lauren: Everyone goes through it. No, you don't get through life unscathed. This one just really shocked me. And then when I got through it, I was like, what the hell was that?
[00:33:16] Mary: That’s what prompted. No, they're like, that's something in you, you know, putting yourself in a spinning platter. Okay. Would release endorphins in your brain. So that's the power of exercise too, guys. So releasing these endorphins. Then you, it raises your vibration, then you get the hit.
[00:33:33] That, that's the thing. And I can, like, just, I don't want you to think my little bout of cancer was an easy ride. I mean, there, for three months I've been, I sat on my meditation mat and just practiced. I couldn't even meditate. I was like, I can't connect with anything right now. I try, I, whatever, forget it, that was not happening.
[00:33:51] And, but I still sat there and just let the tears come and let the, like, you know, there's a saying the heart that breaks is but opening again. Yeah. It's broken right open. Yeah. It's like, and then again, when you get on your side, you're, you can make a whatever about it, but, but you really, it's dark night and so like, that's just hard at all.
[00:34:16] And so when you find somebody who's calling. And then there's some place you want to be, like that gives, that activates the hope in you. And that's the power that we have to each other. And then to serve each other. I mean, people gave me hope, certain people gave me hope, some of the doctors I had were very hopeful, but you have to go through it.
[00:34:35] Lauren: Yeah. I mean, that's the only way through is through, but you don't have to go through it alone. Even though it feels alone and like nobody is like in certain times, no matter what it is, you don't have to.
[00:34:50] Mary: That's the other thing I want to get across to everybody. It's not a punishment. There's no God in the sky that's exactly what you would expect in New Jersey.
[00:34:59] Come on. It doesn't work like that. There are rules on planet earth. You know, everything is energy. The food you eat is energy. The words you speak are energy. Everything's energy. If your energy is out of harmony and coherence, create something that you don't really want. But it's just energy, it's never a, to me it's never a punishment, come on, don't put that on.
[00:35:23] You know, it's about really just being responsible also for your own energy. What am I putting out? What in this like universe has your back idea. If she can cultivate that, that will also help raise your vibration. Then that then it's like, well, I've been saying, God is like WGRG. It's like a radio station.
[00:35:43] From FM, that's pure mode. It's on AM. Like it's, it's like there's a frequency that's there for you. You just can't hear it over here. Do you go to whatever you need to go to? To me, I would say tap. Quiet your nervous system down. Go back into, like, meditating. Whatever you do to get your alignment. Exercise sometimes, walking, nature, hold a baby, whatever.
[00:36:05] Uh, to get back in alignment. And, and listen to the, the intuitive. It's that you're going to get and get really good at listening. And it's soft. It's not some wild clamoring singer. Very soft. You have to listen to the radio station. It's I'm, you're just not tuned in and it's always therapy. Every one of you, you know.
[00:36:27] Lauren: We all have our unique footprint, every single one, everyone, and you are here for a reason. It's being able to tune in, like you say, and if, uh, those voices start, change the station, change the station to a different station. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:36:43] Mary: That was amazing. Awesome. Thank you.
[00:36:47] Lauren: No, thank you so much for being a guest today on 52 Weeks of Hope, Mary.
[00:36:51] Mary: Great. It was great. It's great to be here. Thank you for having me.
[00:36:53] Lauren: Yeah. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and take with you Mary's messages of connection, curiosity, and growth. Such fulfilling messages to take into your week ahead. All of Mary's links are in the show notes on the website at 52weeksofhope.com
[00:37:06] While you're on the website, there's links to rate and review the podcast, or you can do it from wherever you're listening. It all helps, and it's really appreciated. Thanks for getting the word out about the podcast and helping more women feel less alone in the overwhelm and to remember the pause.
[00:37:21] Answers emerge in the pause, and instead of adding to your to do list, How about a to don't list? Which is my segue into the series I've been working on for you that I'm so excited about. It's a show for burnt out, over achieving Type A moms who have forgotten the pause. Unlike other shows for burnt out, overachieving moms, only we take you off the hamster wheel by ditching the to do list for the to don't list.
[00:37:45] That starts in two weeks, and next week's episode is the one I've been saving for you. It's so good. Get ready to have your socks knocked off, or whatever that expression is. You're gonna get activated to your core and get to vibrate at absolutely your highest frequency. That's next week, and you're gonna thank me and bombard me with awe.
[00:38:04] You're just, you're energy. Anyway, that's next week's episode. Until next week, I'm Lauren Abrams. Thanks for listening. Tell two of your friends.